~my Story~

Sick yesterday...fever...but i still went to watch DEATH NOTE 2...Play mahjoong... haihz...daring baj~ i ate 2 apple pies yesterday... today...i keep going to toilet... stomachache and dizzy...wonder why~ cant say much but claire...i said you passing me all your bad luck to me...i was just bullshitting...k no matter what you are my best buddy... and claire i din blow er cover... is john guess it 1 k...

From 80 Ovr kg to 59kg... From 40 inches of waiste to 28 inches... From ballon to slim... Its like walking on The Great Wall of China... Long, hard and painful... Not easy at all... Even now, many people say that i won this war... But I can't let myself relax for 1 bit...because i'm worry that 1 day i might fall back to where i started... Even i won...i declaire "I'M THE WINNER" but something still missing~ that makes me fell strange... what i need to do? what i'm doing is it the right thing? Am i need to do extra things for extra requirement? To bargain? To treat? Today, i saw my admire 1, like old times happy n acting like "ki siao" ah????^^ he was sitting infront of me...after a malay girl...la~ he wore white...but he din "jell" his hair...stil natural enough bah~(me likey)^^ during today's malaysian studies... mr mahdi hahaha the way he perform really syok~ he is cool though... Today, Claire walk pass her admire C... also oh^^ Me n ...

I'm afraid of insects...croacoach...lizards...spider...ugly things... I'm afraid of losing my money...my wallet...my hp n my clothes... I'm afraid of ghost...war...fights... betrayal... buT...what i'm afraid the most... IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THAT I NOT SUPPOSE TO... I told myself...be steady...be cool..but i failed i'm such a loser... why am i keep on repeating the same tragedy as i know these things edi... i know i'm walking on a different path under the same sky... i should know better... but i let myself falled again but what can i do? i cant kill these feeling like i can do to those insects... i cant buy a better relationship like i can i buy a new pair of clothes... i cant chase these ppl go away like i can hired a sifu to chased off all the ghost... i'm afraid those thing tat i couldnt handle... i'm so weak...i jus wan sum1 to love to...share to...but at the end wat i can do is watching the 1 i like holding others ppl hand on the other si...

I will learn...learn everything...to make me perfect... i just don't want get defeated all de times... my werk...my studies...my frends...my family...they always make me proud... when i look at my own report... above i mention is my pride, what i'm proud with... my werk, close to the courier i always want to be, meet vt all designers..n businessman my studies, even my grade aint comin vt flying colours but i see some change...improved my family, basically good other than my annoying sister...(hehehe) my friends nvr stop appearing in my life...i'm surrounding by amazing ppl...my frend is where i can feel more proud at... but there is 1 thing i always failed... my love life sucks...it always be the 1 who turn me down to the deep canyon...where i can c no sun lights...caged birds tat always soak in tears...cannot fly nor meet vt the very 1 true love... i dont want to get defeated...but i always lost bcuz I am a... this makes me felt izit rules is always i had to follow vt... n...

i give up lu... not oni H but oso miss Guat Ling's book... maybe there is some1 for me 2 blame...but still i'm suppose to be blamed... n responsible over it... i'm still ok... well everything fall in their place what misplace is my mind bah... i act pretty 'kisial' nowadays... i dunno who make me turn to it... or i just wanna let go sth... what i want isn't what i get... what i don't want i will get... what kind of life izit? feel like wanna cry.. every corner of my room seems to be where i can hide myself every single nights... looking into the mirror i...people says its perfect... but if it is perfect why am i feel so inconfidence...with it? when i look into the mirror its telling me... do more...control... feel so empty now... my life live like a hamster... rotating the wheel all de time...

i'm so worry now.. i'm afraid tat i lost miss guat ling's book... i dunno where i left it...might be the new studio or old studio... i need 2 check it out again...omg i feel so scared now... oh god plz help... i learn wat is responsibility but still i'm 4getful... omg... help me...any1... so helpless now~

although i know it will always happen tat way... but still why am i still have to fall for that izit this is wat we call destiny... somehow, i found out tat i nvr learn... stubourn ppl like me...can nvr learn from my mistakes... then izit mean... i deserve all this thing? jus found out tat i'm pretty stupid... asking a question which i had already know the answer... lonely nights seems too come out again like olden days... still wat n who is by myside is no one but myself perhaps this is seems to be my life... but somehow i'm afraid no more... in the other way round... i even enjoy the sorrow i hv in my hand now... as soon as possible i will learn when i meet myself again it will be a change... grown up n more matured... its impossible 4 me 2 forget those memories of the olden days.. but i will not keep a side.. but instead i will keep it like my treasure although it hurts me so.... Momentum... maybe what happen today will turn out to my miracles i gv me strength to face 2molo ...

wow. college started... n yes i c my frends again n deft...i'm happy la... FCA19 is bac 2gether.... 1st day of college.... the 1st step i step in to the studio... claire is the 1st i saw...(although her "sexy" back is facing me...) then is chermaine and way hong .... i gave back way hong her's sailormoon comic which i hawck it since las year... wakaka... after tat the PPL startin to came in n say hi n hug after separated 4 a long times... hmmm.... let me tell YOU: Nat she walk in with a new clothes (i wore new clothes oso ^^) n 2 satellite dishes like ear ring...like the same old day...SHE's HOT...phew... LYD walk in with a white shirt n gothic punk tottemm in de middle... same old LYduar Claireeeeey looks fresh with a new hair cut... no longer button mushroom la^^ don angry k dear... muacks muacks...still CLAy enough like the same old days... Kason JAng still the same oni without "the hair tat grow on his chin n upper lips" tat makes him look more ...