~my Story~

i draw myself an imaginary lover to get me through those lonely nights... i draw myself too many happiness to cover up all my loneliness... i draw myself hope that turns into disappointment... i draw myself a painting that appears to be colorful to the rest but its only black and white in my eyes... i draw myself a heart and in myself it cracks like almost to shattered pieces and i stick it back together so i can paint the cracked heart with  beautiful emulsion to cover the truth... tonight i draw my memories out through these songs... NICOLE'S BABY LOVE GWEN'S 4 IN THE MORNING FERGIE'S BIG GIRL DON'T CRY JOLIN'S NOT FOR SALE AYUMI'S WALKING PROUD hopefully one of these song can recall your deepest memory in your head~and your heart

the sparkle of lights is like stars above the sky, it will off a day and out of no where it'll spark so bright and outshine whatever you are going through... the colors will never fade if you have a bunch of friends where you can be so true with... the beautiful moment...

为何分开后，想起吵架的时候，心里觉得是甜的。 为何要怨恨过后不是愤怒？而是原谅？自己也觉得无可理喻。 你说过相信你的话语、一切都是美丽而真实的，为何我们却错得如此离谱？ 一切的回忆为何离开了又回来了， 正当我放下时，却发现我并没有放下，一路以来都握着掌心里。 你的笑容，你的嘴唇为何现在要吻着我？ 如今我回想快乐的时光，为何是如此苦涩？ 还让我哭得无法自我，我の泪水为何像绝了缇？我无法面对镜子前泪流满脸的自己。 我选择离开的哪刻，我多么坚定。 现在是什么感染了自己的坚强，最后变的软弱！ 经过我们去过的地方，我会毫不留情的往前走去， 为何现在又不舍得离去的望着这里我们最后交集的地点。 开心的苦涩，伤心的甜味 不胜唏嘘的璀璨，这却成了我俩的永远 依然憧憬的爱情，我不敢靠近，连拥有我也不想， 因为一旦认真的话，所有的美好都将会因现实的渲染， 原本梦幻的美丽，最后变成了遗憾。 修饰过的美梦，多么窝心， 事到如今，再如何左右自己的内心，事实还是躲不过。 将会时过境迁的岁月，到时一定可以再一次 勇敢的爱上另一个人。

4 months till 2013 draw its curtain on every single soul on this planet... 4 months till another year of resolutions need to be mark or written on a 2014 planner... how have you been this entire year? imagine you have this question written down and you will be reading this on 30th of Dec 2013... and what answer will you be giving?  not bad? okay okay? or im happy... but of course how you plan your life is all up to you and yourself and i will not stop being an interior designer, a cheerleader, a friend, a son & a brother to my family and friends... NEVERTHELESS myself... tonight is the hen party for my gf's Jaslynn and hope that the party will be more than awesome  C3 2013 is done... not my fav result not my fav performance but its a good call...

have you ever feel like there is a song so serene and manage to make your emotion sway like ocean waves...padding those shore yet strong but gently it sweep you by... so  i wish to share you this song so 4 days till c3 competition... i actually twisted my ankle~ LOVELY ISNT IT~ this time it's pretty serious though~ so i shall pray really hard that it will recover fast cause this month i am really really busy! no joking!

i can taste the change of my emotion so much... to the extend that i have feelings than i might go insane or a snap... i might lost not only myself but everything.. when you are happy when you are sad how do you overcome those sadness in your life? how do you overcome those hurtfulness and move on? i choose to replay those happiest moment and remind me how happy i can get when im happy and hopefully that can help me move on from there without any scars on me but what is that putting my emotion into such deep sorrow  because im forcing myself to go back to place where i no longer felt happy with my job plays a big role cause i spend more time there now than in my house i spent my time to a company that doesn't pay my worth while its a business  perhaps throwing much emotion into it is a dumb choice i will get out of there once im through with the project in hand im gonna have to treat the up coming project as a test  an exam for my graduation i shall...

have you ever felt your heart sank down to an extend whereby you felt there will never be a bounce back? have you ever felt that trying so hard and turns out nothing? have you ever felt that the reality has always been a bitch and as a big bitch yourself you cant BITCH SLAP those sucky faith that has fated for you? unfair right? those game that so call given by God... there are too many why why why where no answer is ready for you and never will cause at times yourself is the answer where you seems to forgot... the way out is we work the way out~ if we dont there is no way out... Cheer team now is going through a huge storm where i dont know what to do all i though is to run away till the storm is over or i keep praying that it will all be back to normal once my eye is open from sleep but heck never will and wont be... i wish to drop them a letter...a letter that maybe be offensive or maybe enlighten~ i dont see why people need to listen to me... when im nobody we...