**i wish~**

that we never meet~
that we never had each other before~
that we never have to hurt each other~
that I don't have to end up again in tears and blood from my heart~

it's another submission closing in and horrifying things always caught up to you~
this submission is important and i have to make a decision that have to eat my heart up~
and swallow my soul in to deep canyon of pain and suffer~
with hopeless my soul drawn~
with no help but myself to tell myself to live or dead~
to go on or let go~
to keep or to be free~
who is here with when you are gone~many~but my heart can never hold on to what you are doing~
with what you are hiding!

i never dare to lie to you~never cause i don't want to hurt you when you found out that I lie~
cause those hurt is more painful then a stab of sharp knife~ even worst then a cut on your wrist~
because I'm living in both sin of alive and dead~

when you just walk out like that~

you show me you are innocent but what you are doing is totally different!
how am i suppose to believe in you when too much sign of your changes~
are playing like videos before my eye~
too see the truth in you~
what you are hiding behind yourself~your shadow~

is it fun to have 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 relationships a one time~
what are you seeking?
what do you want?
am i not doing good enough?
am i not giving you enough?

you told me you are not~was before not now~but i didn't realize that you didnt promise me about the future yet~
silly me (smile)

when you tell me that you love me just now~
my heart hurts~by another dagger of lie of yours~
hitting straight into my heart core~
who knows lie can be so pain~

please god i wish you erase him from my life~
his memory with me all this long~longer i have the heavier wound i will get in this very end~
who am i stood up for all this while~
who am i crying for all this while~


you made me happy once~so happy~that i wish we can be together forever
and you wish and swear~that you will do the same way too~

then again~hope is like an egg~reality is like a rock cold and hard~
hitting the rock with egg is nevertheless~
egg is splash all over and shattered all over the place~

this exacyly what happen to my heart and my hope for you now~

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