~my Story~

i don't want to see that you turn out to to You were... i don't want to lose you right now~ but can you do something? make me feel that you are here with me~though we are apart more than we are together...can you understand, my heart is now carry with you and by me all along since... all i hope is for you to understand what i need, more than what i can demand for... i'm hoping for nothing much, its just simple as that... look at us, we are falling apart, sadness is more then happiness we can trap... do you know, that is what i'm worry now... jack knows exactly~whats the feeling of drowning~and i am i have to force myself to wake up from the buzz in my mind~and get back to work~to get back to my comp and look into the screen doing things~ numb myself to forget the pain~when it doesn't work at all~ all i can be sad to is no one but myself! listening to my heart tearing day and night who can understand more than me? you are standing so far away from me...

when people (except for KBU IAD students) is sleeping in the middle of the night... im still awake...sitting in front of my computer...waiting for my work to render~i manage to get 1 rendered after an hour...the 2nd one will be my call of the day~ but right at this moment it's still stuck in the middle of no where... hoping for miracle... i always believe that the god and faith was being kind to me...no matter where i go... the obstacles will never get in my way...on top of that, i manage to know great people... recently, my inner world is a mess, not only my health but even my thinking is a mess... i no longer know what i have in mind... i no longer able to tell you that im assure that this will work...or that can be done... i can promise you before...but not now...not today... im thinking about myself...family...friends...relationships... i know clearly that i want to strike for the best for my final year this time... i want to create a sanctuary for human! it was my first aim to...

i dont wish to be obscene but seriously~what the hell~

-"You were.../BALLAD" Covers!- Revealed on Ayu's official site and many other major Japanese news site moments ago were the covers of Ayu upcoming Disney & NHK double tied up single, "You were.../BALLAD" dated to hit stores 12.29.09. According to Barks.jp , Ayu expressed joy and honor for her first song on the single "You were..." to be selected as the theme song for Disney movie " Tinkerbell and the Moon Rock ". She also hoped that both the movie and her so...

當初膚淺　得你恩寵似升仙　天有眼 當真糊塗　未曾發覺我該俯瞰南極快沒有冰山 當初專心等你燭光晚餐　從沒有認識蠟燭怎樣消散 當你的光環　暗過世間火柴　何用困在五指山 而神蹟失靈才知天大地大轉得快 夢幻的生涯無非拖手逛街怪得誰 要敬拜你便沒視力漸觀世態 忘掉誰是你　記住我亦有自己見地 無論你幾高　身價亦低過青花瓷器 評核我自己　只顧投資於愛情 困在你小宇宙損失對大世界的好奇 回味誰是你　往日有甚麼品味 只要敢遠飛　亦能自創我的搜神記 磨練我自己　做人目光高過聚散分離 就憑你　相愛大不了提昇演技當做戲＊ 從前只懂情人的感動力量　最珍貴 未洞悉小巷大街遍地華麗　昂起頭 看遍世界我也會有我的氣勢　wow oh~ repeat ＊ 拋開你先識去審美　往後我便有自己見地 無論愛幾高　身價亦低過青花瓷器 評核我自己　只顧投資於愛情 困在你小宇宙損失看大世界的福氣 回味誰是你　往日有甚麼品味 只要敢遠飛　亦能自創我的煙花紀 神是我自己　若然目光高過聚散分離 奉承你　因往日雙眼無珠不停放大你 想快樂不靠神蹟　才懂創世紀

i wont expect the world will understand me... i wont expect or ask my family to understand why i choose this path i go on to... i did my part as a son...i take my responsibility as a brother ... a son ... a student ... a young adult ... a friend ... a lover...'s responsibility and wont calculate if i have to do more then any of it... but if i ask more then a bit from each of them... it will kill you isn't? how come your mistakes is my fault? just because you are my mother that even you made mistakes...i have to apologize to you instead!? IM SO SORRY TO TELL YOU...i have my own Principe in life... whenever im right...you dont even dream of getting a word or sense of apologize from me!!! no matter you are my mother or who so ever! all you did for me is to pay my expenses thats all you needa worry!!! i have my own worries and i have even bigger pressure...!!! WHICH IS LETTING YOU DOWN!!! for bloody hell 4 years studied in college! i will never cry for my assignment...NEVER!!!!!! e...