**imperfect**
when people (except for KBU IAD students) is sleeping in the middle of the night...
im still awake...sitting in front of my computer...waiting for my work to render~i manage to get 1 rendered after an hour...the 2nd one will be my call of the day~
but right at this moment it's still stuck in the middle of no where...
hoping for miracle...
i always believe that the god and faith was being kind to me...no matter where i go...
the obstacles will never get in my way...on top of that, i manage to know great people...
recently, my inner world is a mess, not only my health but even my thinking is a mess...
i no longer know what i have in mind...
i no longer able to tell you that im assure that this will work...or that can be done...
i can promise you before...but not now...not today...
im thinking about myself...family...friends...relationships...
i know clearly that i want to strike for the best for my final year this time...
i want to create a sanctuary for human! it was my first aim to do this course...
although i prefer fashion more then architecture...but i know i can do this as good as i can if im doing fashion...
and right now...i wish to work on my study, my future...
family~forget about it~no one will understand...no one will listen and stand on your point of view and overview what I'VE GONE THROUGH!
friends~recently argued with one of my secondary schoolmate as i always not there to attend any of their plan and party...she asked me one question that i felt guilt or kinda like a jump start~
am i neglected about them? or they neglected about me?
i 'm not sure, even if i do i'm sorry~i want all of you guys~but i have no capability to catch up with you guys... NO CAR...NO MONEY...and i don't really like ask people help cause i'm the person that rather help others in need...so whenever i can do something, i will do it no matter how...if i can't that measn i really really CAN'T~
relationship~i love this man so much~but if he does the same? i have not much faith in this 1~ after that incident i see changes between us...not only him, but me as well, i lose my trust towards him...a relationships based on a very steady and thick deep believes and trust...
but i dont have myuch~even until right now it might be 75% out of 100% and trust me~
it's not enough~im suffering right now, worry about evey second that he might betray me~
he was really GOOd before...now is not bad...but not as good as it was before~
the moon is once again imperfect~just like my life here~nothing is steady~instead it keeps changing every second right now under my noses~
im still awake...sitting in front of my computer...waiting for my work to render~i manage to get 1 rendered after an hour...the 2nd one will be my call of the day~
but right at this moment it's still stuck in the middle of no where...
hoping for miracle...
i always believe that the god and faith was being kind to me...no matter where i go...
the obstacles will never get in my way...on top of that, i manage to know great people...
recently, my inner world is a mess, not only my health but even my thinking is a mess...
i no longer know what i have in mind...
i no longer able to tell you that im assure that this will work...or that can be done...
i can promise you before...but not now...not today...
im thinking about myself...family...friends...relationships...
i know clearly that i want to strike for the best for my final year this time...
i want to create a sanctuary for human! it was my first aim to do this course...
although i prefer fashion more then architecture...but i know i can do this as good as i can if im doing fashion...
and right now...i wish to work on my study, my future...
family~forget about it~no one will understand...no one will listen and stand on your point of view and overview what I'VE GONE THROUGH!
friends~recently argued with one of my secondary schoolmate as i always not there to attend any of their plan and party...she asked me one question that i felt guilt or kinda like a jump start~
am i neglected about them? or they neglected about me?
i 'm not sure, even if i do i'm sorry~i want all of you guys~but i have no capability to catch up with you guys... NO CAR...NO MONEY...and i don't really like ask people help cause i'm the person that rather help others in need...so whenever i can do something, i will do it no matter how...if i can't that measn i really really CAN'T~
relationship~i love this man so much~but if he does the same? i have not much faith in this 1~ after that incident i see changes between us...not only him, but me as well, i lose my trust towards him...a relationships based on a very steady and thick deep believes and trust...
but i dont have myuch~even until right now it might be 75% out of 100% and trust me~
it's not enough~im suffering right now, worry about evey second that he might betray me~
he was really GOOd before...now is not bad...but not as good as it was before~
the moon is once again imperfect~just like my life here~nothing is steady~instead it keeps changing every second right now under my noses~
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