**if i am lost for a day...**

try to find me~

this song was introduce by claire...
touch my heart so much neh~cause now i am lost in a way~
a relationship that people jealous about~a relationship that soon 1 years old~
so happy~such happiness and lucky~i'm thrill lats lastly i can find someone i can be together with for my life...people say we are 2 different world~but i dont care...he dont care and walk with me~
yea if we are too different~we already broke up the very 1st month together~
but we can walk until today~it's a total effort and love of us both~

in betweenn mistakes and quarrel occured...its so normal for a relationship~
but the mistake swas very huge for me to bare~though the wound is recover but the scar~
is so so heavy in my heart when everytime something seems to be so not in place~
those nightmare come back again hunting me down~

in short whenever he dont act like the way i want it~
i will start thinking alot~ until i cry~
he have no idea how deep the cut was...
he have no idea how painful and despare i was...
he have no idea how scare i was...

he ask me and comfort me to let it go~its past~
what can i do when the past keep coming back and hunt me down...

he is trying to make me safe again~
he is trying to earn my trust~
but God my mind thinks too much~

i'm glad you give me the brain that can consider and think alot to analyse to help the needy~
but who can help me when my brain move faster then my own soul and thougts~
his appearance is so attractive~
im so worry that some people will actually take him away from me~
then he said~
even there are people into him~he will not like them nor accepting them~not at all...

my man side say~come on trust la...why are you afraid?
my girl side say~hello common sense you think guys can so easily be trusted meh?

oh my god~they are fighting in my head~who knows?
no one knows only JACK knows~he is the only one that can set me in my proper line~
but he is now playing a game call MIA~
no where to be found though we know he is australia PERTH~
facebook werent updated since...msn also MIA~blog that was covered with heavy dust~

but now all i can do is sank myself into my own sadness in the night everytime the things dont go right~
like tonight~is it me trusted him?or im just too naive that everytime he went to sleep
is the day his friend asking him out~
i Friends Finder him and it shows that he iis in his house~but god knows he purposely leave his phone at home? or what so ever?
he lied to me once to actully went clubbing with his friend~
thats where all these negative things came out....
this is the scar that keep me so emotionally not stabil~whener his friend called him~
i will be scared~like right now~tonight~228am
he promised to come online but he didn't ~
saying that he want a nap~

i'm speechless eventhough it might be lies~but what can i do? when he really did that behind my back?

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