~my Story~

i have worries, my health is deteriorating... both physical and mentally... everytime i wish to sleep... my hearts is racing...it;s really hard to control my mind.... its getting out of my control... and im falling sick and i can tell its myself.... i need some time of my own... i want to get away.... my head hurts but i cant sleep~ my body hates me~even i want myself to suffer~ this sounds a lil crazy but i feel like im getting there really soon if i dont sleep ~ and get the rest that i needed ...

same sex marriage is now legal in States... many souls is now break free to show more love to the world... telling us love can comes in many form... many people against it as they say it's not right... but tell me why it's not right? why is it wrong to love someone...just because that someone is not the usual one... don't lecture me about it takes one male and female to continue the cycle of life... i know better... homosexual was never a sickness....homosexual was never a choice... it's just something we born with and a feeling that we cant fight.... its a war we can never win... just to shut everyone up and marry a girl that you know you wont love and care in that manner is equally killing the best future she might hold... just to shut everyone up, and live a life that you're not meant to live is equally slapping those people who died young and never had a chance to live... just to shut everyone up, you decided to pretend for your life and maybe ...

渴望的就是这相隔许久的爱

现实是我眼泪的枷锁， 囚禁我流泪的权利， 理智是我逃避内心的藉口， 不敢面对寂寞的心灵， 我也惭愧的低下头来， 拖着渐渐沉重的步伐，默默行走在这看似繁华的世界， 却又是如何孤独到难以形容的忙碌 此刻我仰望天空， 想倒抽一口气，舒缓我跌落深渊的痛苦 伪装自己开心的笑颜，骗孩子的把戏， 我的朋友都很明了 寂寞的我，只想窜逃到一个让我尽情痛哭的地方， 我很幸运，依然活着， 悲哀的是，我却感受到痛苦 很安静，今天的太阳躲在云后， 阴阴的大地，寂静的白天， 躲在心里悲凄的我， 我听得更清楚了 当下的我，在等待着些什么？ 一双可以拥抱我的手，似乎是最好的事了~

after a while, haze and drought covered the land of my country... many people fall sick cause of this terrible weather... he is leaving soon and return to his hometown... what a short adventure he had here... hopefully he found and learn something after all... tonight...so cold and i love it... enjoy this song and maybe it will ring you some memory... that was once so irreplaceable... even-though it has already gone... you can always cherish and look at it again...and again...

i met this boy... literally a young one...so many a likeness...  attracted me so much, from which i know...i shouldn't be even putting in any feelings... he is just 18 years old... so many things he havent see nor feel... settling down can never be his 1st thing on the list... whereby, all i wish for now is to find a love one and settle down with me and build a life out together it's like a bubble... meant to spark momentarily... it'll burst before we know...it i will be ok again...i know it...because I've been through it and i can never be harm even though lonely spikes me at it's best... lonely won the game this time... but it's ok... i keep telling myself...

in the arms of an angel far away from here i felt so paranoid i felt to anxious i really need you even though its just awhile please stay here with me until im comfortable to walk on my own again