~my Story~

if you ever ask me if i have anything that i can celebrate , actually there are tons of reason for me to be happy and content with... if you ever ask me if i am happy, i can tell you that somehow sadness covered most of my happiness many people started their life with a very "normal" format ; where there's boys and girls ; circle of life blah blah blah... instead of that format ; God decided to made a joke for me... if  God never made mistakes... i wonder what am i? a girl that traps in a male figure... fell in love with the guy that always live a normal life... I wanted the same as well, but instead im never here nor there...  i miss that crazy night we had, dancing and hugging each other, i kissed his cheek, and of course nothing happen... i guess nothing ever will... that steamboat night that only 4 of us... my parents, him and myself... i truly appreciate that short but yet filled with warmth and basically gave me a bit of what ive been yearning for... ...

at the age of 31 i've decided to part ways with my favorite company mainly is because i've lost myself along the way within this 5 years... constantly doing things that is beyond my comprehension... instead of something that i love... living up to other's people expectation and slowly i forgotten what i love to do the most... being too confident, thought of living single and proud will be something that i can live with forever... but im afraid of being alone...but what can i do? should i live with some "temporary" companionship? that doesn't make sense at all and what happen was that i dont care because so long i enjoyed... anyhow 2019 thing has change and thing will never be the same... what presents soon become past... once loved will soon be forgotten...