~my Story~

people i meet~people i know~is change~from little teenager turns college~ people have all grown up...even ways at looking things has change... me too...somehow... there are still something inside me remain as stubborn as i was... yesterday i saw a wonderful moonlight cross the night sky...huge half moon... the moon was so close to me for the 1st time after 22 years... something touches me inside my heart...so warm... but yet... so lonely... yesterday company was a blast...i've won the 1st runner up for the best dress of the night... the only male that won out of 5 women and 3 men...well extra RM300 for my account... at least i have some more money now~hehe~ yesterdays theme was MASQUERADE the DIAMOND MASK i made in college for KBU IAD Club finally is out for expose...and this mask brings me luck i guess... and the god watches over me above...i really wish that i can wish for more... but yet... maybe i shouldn't be so greedy... but yet... i am greedy... i know ...

if i have to say~one word to describe my feelings now~ i think i couldn't do so... i just started to work for 3 month...already i felt like 3 years of non-stop... maybe my heart was and soul was seriously damage with what happened for the past 1 month whats withe me has become part of me ~i added more and more pages of story into my story... as im walking proud down my virgin road one day...i will look back and carol my love song with a whole new aria ... ayumi again~sorry this is me~can never change~just like the way i will love the next love of mine until the day i die~ the biggest things i know is no matter how i get washed by those uncertainty i still have to be myself~cause what you are makes you an individual instead of another normy walking down the street with a POKER FACE... i say i want to be perfect but my friend says something that hits my conscious~ "perfect peoples are scary, they are faking..." O.O almost have my eyes pop out from my head~ FARNY... tomor...

it's another new year...2011~the 23th new year I've celebrated... it hits in another weeks time...i keeping looking forward... but after this i shall go back to normal~a flat tone~but to chase the next level of my life instead ... currently single and i have so many spare times for myself to actually do my things... yoga and diet~since when i don't felt so healthy already...wish much~haha emo suddenly when im working~on weekends~ i guess when i say no impact on me i guess i was trying hard to be tough~but i am~ so what am i saying? anyway~get back to work and lets make a countdown for our rabbit year~

i've gone through this week with an edgy combination of different mode... BORED TO DEATH AND HAPPENING TO DEATH at office either i am bored to death or busy to death... my personal life...after official break up...i seems to be more free... but as i live for only one man...i somehow neglected the world, even myself... when i say i cater myself...at times i think i really cater too much... it is never wrong and i never regret with all the sacrifices i made for this relationship... cause we never make any mistakes...the only mistakes is that we are not made for each other... i'm not angry...no desire of vengeance because i'm the one that withdraw myself from this relationship... just came back from clubbing...with jack and his husband...vincent pohpoh...and Gabriel... realize that clubbing is like something i have not been to for years... at that crossing point... i realize i had disconnected myself to the other side of this world... and today i went there...i'm phobic, a...

it's the 4th day of 2011 and im blogging with my ALOE VERA HYDRATING MASK on my face...trying to moisture my oh-so-dry skin... THANKS to simYang... playing One Republic - Good Life... its so soothing for a late night blog... it's a brand new year and i have 11 resolution since its year 2011~haha ain't greedy but wish to maximize my time doing something that is more meaningful and wish to live a life that is more productive... 1... to continue maintaining my body shape... 2...learn yoga and dancing... 3...learn japanese language... 4...get build up... 5...fixing my teeth... 6...want ABS... 7...buy a new house... 8...makes HUGE SALES 9...earn myself as much experience as possible to move on to interior designer post... 10...planning to buy a new house like the 7th i mention... 11...try to make everybody around me happy as always... words to say to the closest person in my heart. hei i want you guys to Know: SiStaHooD : - Johnathan Sim : its the 4th years we knew each other my...

depicting ayu's countdown concert title to be the new beginning of my year 2011... because I sheet down the old parts of mine and go on explore the whole new myself this year... Happy New Year... this year i wish my family stay healthy as always~ this year i wish my friends will stay beside me all the time... this year i hope life will be different... cause im intend to change it~ with this pair of hands i have... blogging from office have not much of mood~LOL shall blog later regarding my new year resolution~

i get my favorite job, but i lost the things that stay with me for 2years already, since we cannot cope, thank break up is the best way... through put these years, people see how much i love him and help him... how i sacrifice for him in terms physically and mentally... but in return he have someone else even until today i ask him for truth, HE STILL WANT TO LIE ABOUT IT! how ironic~why my mom have to be accurate with what she sees, is it because she is now this age already thats what she gain...able to judge a person with 1 look.... my believes towards being kind and loving is kinda faded away...or im just too weak to believe in what i should believe? im so sad...im very sad and upset... but there is nothing i can do...