~`RaY's SeCret ChamBeR`~

how beautiful you are

2012-01-21T14:04:00.005+08:00

**you don't know, you don't know, how beautiful you are...**

**you don't know, you don't know, how beautiful you are...**

first time i heard the song i felt kinda wrong when my queen pronounce you don't know

it sounds tremendously weird but in the end i'm kinda adapt to the way she sing it

plus that song really sounds peaceful and beautiful to dedicate to the person that matters

anyhow Chinese New Year is in January this year in 2012

what the heck im blessed somehow as im running out of cash

and CNY is where you can get cash for not doing anything from parents and relative

ahaha~what a way of earning emergency money

LOLZ

sad much people sad much~

burnt my hand last sunday while preparing an elegant brunch consist of

A SALMON

manatau just woke up and still stone

i hold a big fish with only a chopsticks and it loosen and drop into the hot pan filled with hot melted butter

and splash on my left arm now it looks like i just tattooed my hand

what a way to have my CNY

im so sad now

im worry if it will have any scar in the end wei!

but what to worry about but to pray that my hand will look stainless in the end luo

if not i really dunno what i will do...

Dear God!!

and the job is still a no show eventhough i have promises from one of the bos but

than im throwing my resume out after CNY

and hope the company i wanna work with will call me back

they said this year quite bad for us the dragon baby that born in 1988 as we are the earth dragon and this year is like the year for water dragon so what the heck right?

have wounded left hand unemployed shallow savings and unpaid bills

what can go wrong some more leh?

shit happened but i shall wait a lil longer

until than

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR LOVELY!!!

twenty12

2012-01-01T23:11:00.001+08:00

its a beautiful ending and a wonderful beginning

life will be different from now on cause its a brand new year where new solutions are made

and await me to achieve it regardless whats the prices ...

we are young so we shall answer to our world now as a noble generation

i've ended my 2011 with a lots of events and delightful outings

yesterday night count down is in genting its freezing and fun~double de F~

thank you so much in any possible way

Claire and Lyd get me presents for my Christmas and in return i will make them something awesome

as a favor and love in return!

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS~ i love you all for being here in my life cause my life won't be a life if you actually failed to appear~

so you all completed my life...

and i really appreciate all of it!

resolutions i guess no reason to share since it's PERSONAL!! hahaha

tonight , We are young...

2011-12-13T02:43:00.002+08:00

**...under this Milky Way**

tonight's moon is so beautiful, the night sky is clear, so clear, as if i can feel the moon touches me
stars so bright and in split second i thought i saw milky way...

picture here for you in case you have no idea about milky way...

which i think it's tremendously beautiful,

and i have no idea what circumstances we only get to see,

but i get to see something nice once in my life which is a shooting star,

like 2 or 3 suddenly 4sth early in the morning

with clear sky and dark surroundings,

sometimes im kinda having some argument among me and myself

regarding how a humans should live?

is it wrong for Thomas Edison to invent light bulb

cause we can't see lights from outer space like milky-ways and stars

when all light is on

should we go back to the most basic lifestyle ever,

so we can have all the nature and outer space into our eyes and life?

i'm just too free to wonder

haha

looking at tha pic and enjoy this good song beneath

We are young, performed by GLEE

end-bell

2011-12-03T02:02:00.001+08:00

it's my 1st post in Dec hello Christmas month ...

though i know it's going to be a single Christmas this year...but i have plan

UP ALREADY FOR THE WHOLE MONTH...

quite a few big thing and few big event i need to PRAY FOR...

1st is definitely hoping to get my job from ZhiXuan company cause

from what she told me that i can present design to customer

to design for customer DON'T NEED TO TALK About PRICE

AWESOME RIGHT!?

so i hope i can get this job somehow~

than i received an invitation from my ex-company to attend their Christmas party on 16th Dec

should i go?

THOUGH I've already promise that i will show up somehow

but should i go?

on 17th Dec KBU gang is going to have a gathering AWESOME just rang my door bell with an invitation Card in his hand~WOOT

all i need now is a hot stud with a hot car waiting for me to get on board and send me to my PARTEI

ahahaha

and on Christmas itself i have beautiful Fraser Hill night stay over with my other best Friends

THUS THUS

it's going to be a busy Dec before the end bell ring for 2011 and ring for the beginning of 2012...

SPIN-ning

2011-11-22T19:58:00.001+08:00

today met up with my aunt and discuss the overall design

and they accept it... next stage will be applying material

but now i need to design a mobilize kiosk where they can move in and out as they want

so all together i have 1 mobilize kiosk...KIOSK...and a booth

including graphic work into it...

and guess what? i'm ready to do it...cause i manage to get so far and i can get further...

this opportunity is to be cherish and i shall work the best of it to gain my reputation...

like TOTALLY

shall exercise soon

after that will be doing the work as i need to submit and meet the management people As Soon As

POSSIBLE

feel like wanna go for a vacation on my own...

preferably Taiwan since i can speak Mandarin and read Mandarin...

China i want to go but definitely not alone...

cause it's not safe at all...

Taiwan i guess somehow safer than a country that has been name as inhumanity like China though

NO OFFENSE WHAT HAPPENED IN CHINA PREVIOUSLY totally makes me believe

those people are damn cold hearted and brain mal-function

well well well~

i miss him again~hoho >.< shy shy leh~ holding my bear bear and spin spin spin spin....

so the past 2 days my facebook started spam by a lady with nonsenses

a WAR was triggered and I WON!!

what can i say im awesome not just by said but TRUTH AND FACTUAL PROVEN

hmmmmm

dududududu~

oh i really miss him luo~ >.< holding my bear bear and spin spin spin spin spin spin spin.............

a place i will go 1st

2011-11-21T10:51:00.001+08:00

**CHINA**

**SingSingSing~

2011-11-20T00:55:00.001+08:00

~do it again**

went to CEO by NEWAY Karaoke in Farenheit 88

sang with 8 BULLETS

and now we name ourselves after what we do best...HOHO

stretch n blog

2011-11-13T00:52:00.001+08:00

after intense work out

dancing strength work

NOW

IM BLOGGING ON MY KITCHEN'S FLOOR ON MY YOGA MATT

haha call me awesome

and hella i know right

anyhow

last night outing with Claire Jasmine Lydia and TingFung

so we went banana leaf

and as what claire do best

tormenting those who actually abandon people kind of people

lolz

today went out with my ex colleague ms.lee

she is getting marry next year July and today

we went to check out her wedding gown @ Lasposa in SS2

apparently this shop was in Bangsar before and now shifted to SS2

lets not talk about the dress cause is just common design nice and sleek

yet gorgeous design yet

SO CANNOT COMPARE TO CELEBRITY DESIGNER LIKE VERA WANG

but somehow somewhat somewhere we manage to get ms.lee a few piece of nice dress and gown and i choose a few piece for her and proud to say

i help her find good dress after all

hahahahaha

ANYHOW

was kinda envy

wonder if there will be a day like that for me...

not putting on one of those gown instead K!

more like getting marry and live with the one you love forever and after

sniff sniff

wedding dress - taeyang

11 eleVEN 11

2011-11-11T17:21:00.001+08:00

11 years ago we are having this sorta date every year and next year will be last

so people starts to take these 1 century and only happen once phenomenon quite seriously and preciouly

after 2012 and Dec over would be 2013 by than i guess we only have 12 months instead of 13 after so December we can't get another what...CUCUMBER??

from :

01.01.2001

02.02.2002

03.03.2003

04.04.2004

05.05.2005

06.06.2006

07.07.2007

08.08.2008

09.09.2009

10.10.2010

11.11.2011

12.12.2012

facebook twitter everywhere you see you will found that people talking about relationships and wishing somebody in a way suppose to be normal day though it is but just a little twist somehow somewhat somewhere so it helps lighten the world a bit that people still wishing the people we know and we don't know

and i will foresay this is a good sign LOVE AND HOPE

yet there is a side where people have a different view of it TOTALLY DIFFERENT GROUND

saying that why people have to relate this date to relationships and not anything else like child hunger in Africa or somebody that's suffering right now

instantly it hits me

and I've realize this phenomena and nevertheless it is true

but it's a little weird that if you are passionate about life and caring

you are not suppose to just do it today but everytime you had a chance to help people

starting from people's around you

when you said i don;t understand people why they have to relate it to relationships and always have to be love

in case you didn't realize the world is getting bitter and love brings light to the world

the love can be relationships

friends

family and even to every living things on earth

depend on you...

the only thing i understand is if you think its meaningless you can just do it your way

never judge other people

cause you alone also is just a people ON EARTH HERE TO RUN WHATEVER GODS SEND YOU HERE FOR

so please do not judge what others people thinking~

comment is ok its not like you cant say your own thought but never judge people by discriminating

other peoples opinion by calling it MEANINGLESS

that's very rude and selfish...

if you are loving and caring you shouldnt even kill other peoples dream and love

let them carry their own way of love

and you carry your own

people are all into love songs these day cause we are living in a metropolitan and its getting complicated

we are motivated with work and pursuing dream and fight in reality just to get a place to stand

all we want in the end is to have a safe retreats~

and where is it~where your love one is~

WAIT!

so you don't go back home after a long day of work but yet you go and save people in Jln Chowkit?

even if you did~don't you go back home a place where you can have love from your family?

WAIT!

SO you mean you will never hang out with your friends when you stress out to get a little love and caring from friends? or will care about your friends when he or she is in stress? is that some sorta love and emotional connection?

WAIT!

so you mean you don't need love? maybe not a girlfriend and a boyfriend now but family love and friends love? IS THAT MEANINGLESS TO YOU?

if that so before you thinking of saving the world maybe the one you need to save 1st is your own soul~

cause it's drowning somehow somewhat somewhere~

every year we have hunger for 30th, charity visit to old folks house and give them food DURING CHINESE NEW YEAR, we give donation to school to build a better tomorrow, we visited orphanage house to spread LOVE AND HOPE so is that MEANINGLESS TO YOU TOO?

i would never say that your direction or thinking is wrong cause that is what makes you to be who you are but as a friend of yours i would say : " you need to hang out with more human than just books or your house walls "

on top of it i'm not judging your point of view or who you are im analyzing your words and give you a little suggestion and comparison you so might realize you need to find a better in saying things~

if you know who i'm saying please just keep it to yourself cause blog is for reading not spreading TEEHEE

always a light

2011-11-06T03:29:00.002+08:00

have you ever walk in dark before?

if you do

you will realize it can never be pitch dark

somehow their will be a lil bright somehow some what glows at night

even its not moonlight

ghost stories is

been listening to this blogger from China for quite sometimes

he have this song in his blog is so soothing and sorrow at times

and i love it so much

couldn't find the song at all no matter where i go

so i have to end up go back there and listen to the song

he is a very handsome blogger

one of the best i ever seen

he is so sentimental

from his words

from his thoughts

he seems to be a very bright matured person

but yeap

all the way in China

that's something

if you ever wonder what song is that

go to this blog of his ^.^

http://j0ker67.blog.163.com/

helpless

2011-11-03T01:16:00.001+08:00

wash off by the shore

my mom is upset cause of the new business wasnt that smooth and up to her expectation

though have a few great days but somehow again after yesterday today fall flat again

she is very moody

1st time i dare not talk to her

1st time i hide away from her because she is moody over her business

1st time i felt so helpless can't help her with that sadness and stress

1st time i felt so HELPLESS

i dare not check on her

i dare not talk to her

i know i need to get a job like really soon

she needs to retired

she needs it

i'm still looking around for a company where i can use my talent at

but my portfolio is not strong cause my 3dmax just not up to par yet so i'm worry

what should i do?

my mom is now talking to my sister

asking her to help calculate todays business income

from the situation i can see today is a fall flat charts

phoTo shoot

2011-11-02T13:39:00.004+08:00

last weekend was a full program for me

Saturday we have Vernie & TzeLing came back from Singapore

so that day we had an outing at Sinway Giza

Sunday morning Bullets had a photo shoot at Mont Kiara Skate Park

EARLY IN THE MORNING

here is a few picture of the outing

La Life

2011-10-25T12:55:00.001+08:00

unable to online gave you no advantage in life

can't blog hen you wanted to share some issue

can't check a shit

can't live a life

XIENZ!

but anyhow my mom off for 2 weeks cause she is moving her business

to Puncak Jalil

so she gets a 2 weeks off so we went here and there

the above is the 2 princesses posing at the garden~

my sister fall in love with the fountain

at the same night ZHIXUAN RAFE & I

had a small gathering @ La Bodega

a Spanish restaurant

located in Pavilion

had a great time catching yup with rafe and our life

so yesterday was our training so my new pet brother Jeremiah also from my team Bullets

made salad at home and he decide to treat me cause i fetch him here and there

lolz

taste good bro

so wanna share this 2 songs~hope you'll like it as much as i do~

love you like a love song by SELENA GOMEZ

还是要幸福 by HEBE

rabbit OR duck

2011-10-20T02:31:00.000+08:00

HIMYM SEASON 5~ currently catching up like the speed of light

reach episode 15~ where TED mosby have this theory saying when you prom-ted by a picture

or a duck~if you like it you will see duck and if you see rabbit is what you hate~

totally outrageous theory but i know what is the big picture they try to paint~at least

that's what i think it is...

when you find something you like might not be what you love

what you love might not be what you like...

because it is always against our will and our normal perception on things

that's why love is so pain to hold yet so sweet to have...

if this is what you find...maybe it's a DUCK!

haha what i mean is what you love

my friend told me a book "Secret" call me DUMB but i really have no idea what is it about

they say is something to do with the law of attraction

i have to tell you i have no idea what is that all about...ZzZzzzzZZ

just had a last minute movie plan with Johnathan~ at MID VALLEY GSC

WATCHED the WHITE SORCERERS AND THE WHITE SNAKE

3d is immature compare to bizarre Transformer if the 3D is done by them i would say it will be more different and nicer LIKE ZILLION TIMES but than again

it's ok~

love the ost and the story YEAH

lost but not found

2011-10-17T15:09:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt that you're lost in this world and you can barely find your own feet

and stand on it again?

have you ever felt that you have no clue at all with what you want and if you can ever

find out what exactly you want?

have you ever felt that part or you is lost and can never be found？

i'm all the above mentioned~

lately i look back at things i can overcome not so glory but never seems to be too bad

i'm not at shallow but just a little wash off

intro you all this song

saw these 2 pics and i wish soon enough i can have this moment soon

those hug

those moment

is it too much to ask from this world?

haha

i guess for now it's fated to be like this i guess

changes

2011-10-16T03:28:00.000+08:00

new layout
new Cbox
it's a brand new start

well 5th guy this year i have a crush but ended up they found someone else

funny thing wou;d be most of them i don't even get a chance to meet

this is RIDICULOUS

what have i done wrong?

who to blame who to toss my sadness to?

i hate myself for being so generous at times,

no matter how disappointing myself towards it

i'm still there giving warmest regards and wishes

i'm not fake just hard to be sincere as i thought you were the one~

lesson learned~never have a crush on anyone for no good reason~

if i can kill~i wish to kill myself~

if i can start all over again~i wish to press restart~

i know it's fated~

no matter how i resist~

i know~

i'm a human merely have any power to resist or against the will of the so call "law of attraction"

like a fish wash off shore and gasping for air~

getting harder~

you ain't the right...

2011-10-05T01:36:00.000+08:00

...one for me

thought the time has come, and you are the one,

sadly,

i was wrong, i guess it's another joke from heaven i guess,

well 4th one for this year,

my friend said that i enclosed myself too much...

am I?

I hang out with straight guys more than my gay friends,

I felt like i cannot be able to talk to one or even to seduce one like i used to be,

i felt so insecure about myself and that really beats me,

why am i keep playing the victim card

OH GOD!!!

why can't i be strong and bold for once and do something!

why can't i just stand and shout out loud to someone i love or interested for a lil hang out!

why am i such a coward?

scared of this scared of that!!!

great~

forget it~

just let it go

my HEART will go on

2011-10-04T12:31:00.001+08:00

After years of searching I finally found the favorite movieof my life… TITANIC

How many times have I cried for this movie, technically…

I’ve lost count if you ask me precisely..

The moral of the story is so truthful and undeniable…

So many years have pass, I can still remember every singledetail of the movie

Except the naked part…cause my eye was block by my uncle’shand because it was kind of too much for kids…

DUH

I used to have the titanic soundtrack too… you can see howmuch I love this movie

Even diary book also is TITANIC COVER…

But funny…when I watch this movie…I can only think of you…

Never anyone else…this is utterly funny

I had imagined you and me in the movie and that’s funny somehow….

Jack and Rose…

Authentic name yet so lovable…

She said: “a woman’s heart is a deep ocean secret…”

I can never deny that claim…

But also can prove when a woman love a person, she willalways stuck with that 1 person.

Hmmmm

Does that make me a woman?

Wondering…

If my partner in this coming future loves this movie too…

I guess he will be the one that I’m looking for…

Since we have the same fantasize towards love…

NObody wants 2B LONEly

2011-09-29T18:59:00.000+08:00

catchy phrase in the song

"why don't you let me love you?"

my colleague is playing those "oldies goodies at 1990s"

remind me how much i love this song when i was in like Standard 3 or 4 i guess

after today i will be jobless

wow

i can't believe i just said that

LOL

well at least im not quitting my job as : ~

a brother

a cheerleader

a designer

a son

a friend

a lover (currently still S&A)

LOL

NOBODY WANTS TO CRY

wow emo siaow (Claire CCSY catch phrase)

went to TungShin Hospital yesterday

Johnathan SimYang admitted to hospital

due to high fever and over exhaustion...

he is getting Skinnier as if im not talking to John anymore

more like talking to his Skeleton

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW SKINNY HE WAS

YES

DAMN SKINNY

PLEASE

GOD help him recover as soon as possible since he so much

faithful in you...

my heart feels like yogurt

2011-09-27T18:44:00.002+08:00

when you hear me saying my heart feels like yogurt...

i never mean it literally that it looks like one...

it's just my heart filled with that taste...

sweet and yet sour...

those flavor is so loveable yet so hating it...

standing in between is always my walk...

i guess i can never pick a side...

even pick also i will have a hard time thinking one...

happy is sweet and sadness is the sourness...

knowing too much can be a burden...

same goes to power...the stronger you are the heavier your burden will be...

this is the way thing goes around...

need not to be surprise that if one day you will wind up doing doing doing

woke up you already did these many...

hold hand...

something i have not feel for quite sometime...

thank you for that one moment i hold yours and feel the warmth from one side to mine...

silly~

you will never know...how much i appreciate those moment

because it will always have it in me...

had a great time last night cause im doing something hell a challenging...

i single base Jolene ! ! !

i can never believe that after so many time trying i finally got 1 up

i can absolutely tell you that i feel nothing but absolutely happy and proud of myself...

THUS

this coming Thursday i'm gonna do it better...

coach said something bout challenge me...

wonder and scared...

it's funny that he said that i was scare and need to buck up and to be more brave

well i decided to go Greek soon so i can visit Hercules temple and ask for some extra strength...

HAHAHA~ funny right~I KNOW I KNOW....

koreanWAVEfestival 2011

2011-09-26T17:15:00.006+08:00


GD & TOP

4MINUTE

FT . ISLAND


PARK JUNG MIN


UKISS


V. SYEUNG RI


TEEN TOP

KOREANWAVEFESTIVAL2011

OHMYGOD

I'M OH SO HAPPY

FASCINATED WITH THEIR TALENT AND HANDSOME FACE

LOVE & LOVE

but i know they did something with their face

cause can rarely have such perfect face

ENJOYED WITH DEAR MANYEE . DEAR CLAIREEY. DEAR CHIARA

DEAR OOI AND LOONGLOONG

utterly love the performances

im still indulge with PARKJUNGMIN's songs and face

and his butt act during the concert totally MESMERIZING AH!!

PAPI

2011-09-21T16:42:00.003+08:00

PAPI - JENNIFER LOPEZ

just found the song this noon

and i'm rocking my body and wish i can dance with my papi

haha

my skin returns to its original glow before

and i totally realize that beneath the sky there wont be any ugly people

but lazy people

and lazy won't get you near anywhere

and this totally show me so

it paid off cause people saw the results!!!

YEAH

even slim down already my friends said...

he said last time he saw me

i gone bigger

and i know right!!!!!!

so now everyday i do yoga and dance

except Monday and Thursday cheer practise

subsequent days i will do milk bath - GoodDay

subsequent days i will do hydration mask from SkinFood - ALOE VERA

everyday i will wash my face with Quacker Oats~

approve my skins a lot!

i totally walking there!!

to be fair

WAHAHA

im broke T.T

COUNTDOWN KOREAN WAVE CONCERT 2011

3 DAYS MORE!!

YEAH!

MS.SAM . MS.CLAIRE . MR.OOI .

in DA house

2011-09-20T17:55:00.001+08:00

recently i was hunting for this song widely played in SALOON...BOUTIQUE...

and

RADIO

somehow (-.-)

her voice sounds like Rihanna so i thought it was her

but

AT THE VERY LAST

she was a ROMANIAN SINGER

and it falls into the house music category

and i have never really look into HOUSE music and now I've found a new love from it

her name is Alexandra Stan maybe she had it going on for quite a while but she really hit it this time cause im addicted to the beat

the song is awesome beyond mention

Mr.Saxobeat is my favorite out of few of her works such as LOLLIPOP AND A.S.A.P

and another Romanian singer name Elena - Disco Romancing

apparently Romanian are kinda awesome with house music~

and truly am indulge with their song

sadly i cant embed Mr.Sexobeat youtube here but do go look for it the Mtv might not have that sorta chemical like the song but yet the song will make you move like a Freak~

how heart warming if i can hear you say...

2011-09-16T19:36:00.002+08:00

I LOVED YOU TONIGHT

ironic / epic joke of the year or a life time

when you plan to quit your job

you see results and customer comes back and demand you to do his / her job

what should i tell this customer that I've quit?

THINK about that later for now im still working here it's better of i just be a good designer

and do my job so the one who pick up my job have less worries and problems

i manage to have good order

i'm glad

but yet not enough to satisfy what i want to do and become

narrow place and enough for someone who have big desire

ELLEH~

anyhow clean up my place for sure and clean up my colleagues space and i gave her

my space~i helped her organized those files nicely arrange those material

easier for her reach

i'm kind right?

AWESOME LAH~

miss being in love whenever i look at other people

but i would happen to think again those bad moments of it

at times me myself wondering the same old stuff

about what i want and what sorta relationships im looking for

technically i kept my words and knows that love is a lesson so through one and another one

i learn how to love and how to stop when thing goes wrong

if you ask me am i ready for a relationship well

can i put a 50/50

cause i don't want wind up being emo over stuff~and yeap

when i look at my time and age 23

young but never too early to have a stable relationships right

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

enjoy this song ya ^.^

JOHN WEST - LOVED YOU TONIGHT

who is the other side of my heartbeat

2011-09-16T01:58:00.002+08:00

designer and much like a thinker

they always think about stuff

design...idea...concept

those things derive from the designer's heart and soul, life and undergoing, reality or dream

and channel back in return to user so they can feel the same way the designer feel about their life

i cleaned up my cabinet and storage today

take back those files...

handbook and belongings...

a moment rush into my heart and i felt sad about it

how many times do i need to walk in and out at a place

before i finally reach my place

how many times do i need to be happy and sad getting and quitting a job

before i finally reach my place

today was kinda blue

cause the practice canceled today

the only moment where i can no need to think about stuff and be free and wild doing things

like a kid should do

was CANCELED AKA TAKEN AWAY

~~also the moment to see that somebody is gone~~~

and finally i know how to draw a line for my blog~

pathetic 101 for someone blogged for so many years~

i did a full routine for NICOLE SCHERZINGER'S RIGHT THERE apparently Claire dislikes it

for no good reason

its AWESOME LOVE THE FASHION THE SONG THE DANCE 3 LOVES FOR IT

i did yoga power flow by a yogy teacher~and well hell ya i know flows now~LOL

legend wait for it DARY

a soothing milk bath

and apply awesome SkinFood aloevera mask

my skin is now fair and moist but

THOSE DAMN LEECH WOUND STILL NOT YET RECOVER AND IM PISS TO BE HONEST

hope the medicine help~ T.T

EMO NOW WONDERING some things that also why i need wonder for~

rule that allow me to cry

2011-09-13T15:45:00.001+08:00

i want to go club again...

this time i wanna get drunk...

BUT

i can't cause my mom will squeeze the last drop of me until i wake up...

not like in Langkawi just bring down those last fence and go nuts...

technically

im quitting my job soon...

as i couldn't take those numbers anymore...

i would love to do sales...

but not kitchen...

Kitchen Designer is just a name but actual meaning behind just a sales person

not a designer...

why would i want to be a sales designer...

at least im selling my design and concept...

NOT JUST PRODUCT!

i would more into it...

jack knows me well...

he knows i will only pay 100% attention to what i love and like to do...

never something i hated...

i try to put up with the job scope...

but i'm not doing what i want and it kills my desire to move forward...

so i decide to walk out of here...

with pride...

at least im touched when i leave...

my colleague felt upset with it...

a few of my colleague said is it you need sales to stay? how bout we all help you to hit the target and make you stay...

one of my beloved (Katherine) said how about i talk to my uncle aka my boss so he can allow you to become a in house designer and stay with us...

that proves that im a good person...

and be-loved by so many people and im so happy...

i almost cry when they said all these...

and my colleague Kak Miza straight away she put UNHAPPY at her FB status when i she knew...

this job matters but not as much as the people i met and knew here...

i'm utterly grateful that god gave me all these...

recently mood swing...

wish there is a rule that allow me to cry...

in or out of the zone

2011-09-12T10:46:00.001+08:00

bullets is back...

training on Monday was awesome...coach teach us back hand spring

guess what...

I DID IT! though with help~BUT I DID IT WITHOUT ANY FEAR OF PAIN!

since i'm breaking every single comfort zone i had in my life...

why i back down from the job i choose...

if you ask me if this job i choose is ever a mistake...

i can tell you it was never a mistake...

cause i realize not every people have the luxury to make mistakes repetitively...

and i should know better cause i knew it since i was in Form 5...

and yet now i know that It was me all along...

who is keeping myself away from doing this and that...

had a talk with Jack and Desmond regarding me quitting this job...

due to pressure and not so impressive result...

it was never anybody's fault...

it was me myself keep thinking i can do it but i can't be perfect score all the time...

i told them i want to do something i like instead of forcing myself to do something i hated so...

they remind me something some how...

my goal and my understanding...

i have a dream that i always tell people...

to have an ID FIRM and a FASHION line...

but why do i choose ID?

cause i know thats to keep my basic needs running and well supply...

so i can only step up to my DREAM- fashion...

it was my understanding of life that if you failed to feed yourself...

what sorta dream you still wanna have?

if i keep doing the things i like~instead of stepping out~staying in the comfort zone

won't get me far...

like i can do split with my left leg instead of right~cause i always train my left leg instead the right one~but now my right leg is getting it~cause if you do it~you will get it

IF YOU FOCUS~

you will get it~

i believe

i guess now...is to make my decision~

flipping

2011-09-03T14:25:00.005+08:00

the calendar is getting thinner~although it was never really thick~for those table calendar

clock is ticking every second and soon the year is coming to a curtain call

what have i done for these past few months was remarkable

i have grown up alot

what i gain
what i lost

totally i still remember till now

there is no reason for me to stop for being lazy
being lazy is like a waste of time

so now im picking up my shoes and get back on track

it's time to set a goal for myself
because i don't want to flip my calendar until the last page and realize how much i have not done

should really restrict myself to the place im gonna put efforts in

Interior Design
Fashion Design
Cheer

these 3 will be my companion instead of relationship

i guess as i say i will be single for sometime, a long one by the mean time,
as from the beginning

i'm sit near the window everyday
everyday i look out i see so many different things
many people walk pass while i'm looking at their back those walker

single
couple
family

flashing in front of my very eye
i'm BUSY but still couldn't help looking out the window

DISTRACTING!

3 MILLION for a house

i fall in love with SkyVille
the house is tremendously huge
it's a semi-d
over view the Puchong Skyline
you have lake and sky align at the sunsets horizon

what is better than that
don't know how many years do i need to work
so i can give it to my mother

she worked so hard so the past don't know how many years
since she was 9 she said
she took care her lil sis and bro by than
cooking
help out at the restaurant
grandpa and grandma that time was so poor

my mom quit study for to help take care of the family

so i really am desperate wanted to give her good life

what to do so i can get those soon
for her to be proud and live happily
though now she claimed that she is happy but nevertheless i can feel that she want something
more

and YES i want to give those more to her and my family

please GOD help me here please

walking into September

2011-09-02T21:04:00.003+08:00

it's almost the end of the year~

WHAT?!

still have 4 months till 2012~
but time flies, how soon it is we will call it a year~
by that time~

i'm officially single for a year~

YEAH?!

i can't wait for cheer to resume the practices~
job is like killing myself~
totally pull the original desire of me out of my body~~
drag me away from myself~

DRAMATIC?!

i'm working until 10pm today~
exactly~
i choose the job not the job choose me~
i ain't complain no more~
at least my colleague is busying with his own work~
i still have someone to accompany me~

though we were just doing the same thing~
stuck our head into the screen in precise~
listening to ayumi's "You were..."

it taste the same since the day things change~
since the day i heard the song~

this week i've met up with 2 customers~
1 potential customer~
1 not so~

don't ask me why~
cause the world just not easy for anyone to understand and know~
i guess this what you call adult hood?

i felt like there isn't anything fun with being an adult when responsibility fall on you~

if you ask me what's good for being an adult~
all i can tell you is~

SEX~

that's all~that's the only thing we can label it as fun~
the rest just pure depressing~

well there are some other thing that's absolutely fun also~

don't mind me~
im a BITCH~

the 4teen IsI RImBa

2011-08-30T16:30:00.010+08:00

a few weeks ago...
the trip was still on a piece of paper.
where people choosing which place they want to go...

finally...
we choose

ISI RIMBA

to explain in a detail manner i think it means
"the inner forest"

SO
14 BULLETS DECIDE TO MARCH INTO THIS
GREEN HELL...

REALLY AINT THAT BAD...
minus the freakish Leech and MOSQUITOES...

What amazing is their Chalet is a kampung house nicely build upon a fish pond
with FeiZhao fish...Karps...and some water spider~
I wonder why the fish to chew them off...

11 Guys consist of Johnathan Teo, DingWei,KengXin,TingFung,Sukesh,Jeffrey.Steven coach,
TsienWen,KimYoong,KeeGan and Me~

3 girls consist of Christine~Hannah~Jolene

well lets start with the environment...
TOTAL GREEN and SOOTHING...
water lapping sounds from the stream...
birds and crickets orchestra...
Tree with a hanging bed~at the cafeteria~its all under the sky

kick started the 1st day with a game~
separated into 3 groups~

WEED
WATER
HORSE

what can i say~we trained to stick to together
not even 10 minutes~we already forgotten why we have a GROUP!

haha~

we were asked to catch fish...
look for rubber tree leaf
and the founder of ISI RIMBA...

MAYBE we were late that's why the game ended up into thin air...

Let''s talked bout environment...
IT'S GREEN...
surrounded by tree and fresh air...
water lapping sound from the stream...
birds and crickets orchestra draw the beautiful night with color
soothing and relaxing...

our chalet is a malay house nicely build upon a fish pond...
with FEIZHAO fish and Karps and a few water spider...
wonder why the fish don't chew them off...

when comes to toilet we were amaze that it is actually a sitting toilet not the squad one
nicely tiled...AS IF...well not that good but not that bad either
and the bathing area is hella big...

FUNNY...
people pay over thousand for outdoor shower but hell ya we don't...

I TOTALLY JUMP OUT FROM MY BOX THIS TIME...

the FUNNY MOMENTS...

1st COACH CHICHARITO

the one who lead suppose to be Keegan but he drifted like a wind so
Coach and i left behind...
than end up coach lead me instead...

FUNNY

he forgotten that i drove Alza while he drove Peugeot!
WHAT THE BEEP?!
normally already pushing us to the limit...
now pulak my car~

THANK YOU SO MUCH WEI!

2nd would be BITCH SLAP by KengXing while we're sleeping...
you are so KIND and snores~TALKED BOUT PETITE MAN with HUGE
SNORESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

FUNNY!

3rd would be Johnathan drove his ATV into the drain...
HONESTLY

that's exactly why i bailed out from the ride the last second >.<

FUNNY!

4th Jeffrey's FISHday aka his 18th Birthday was a blast
we dunk him into the river call
Action FishJeff...
Fishermens and target was set...
MOSS CODE WAS RELEASED AND REPEATED over times and yet
NO ONE GETS IT...

and john finally give up said~IM TIRED JUST GET THE DAMN FISH~
haha Jeffrey finally got it and he temp to run was a BIG FAIL!
and
he got DUNK~

FUNNY!

5th is Tingfung and his leech~the leech is so close to his groin...i got it too and we ended
up have a patch of blood at near our BALLS and we were laughing over it
as if
WE
ARE
HAVING
PERIOD

SERIOUSLY

FUNNY~

6th Jolene's Fling is the finale season of that night...
SHE BITCH SLAPPED JOHN AND KIMYOONG
like nobody cares...

FUNNY~

7th Hannah's and her thrown 20 castles she build was destroyed
we call it the castles Armageddon...
she built 20 castles using half an hour
we destroyed all of it within 10 seconds~

HAHA

FUNNY~

8th HsienWen and his head shot WITH PAINTBALL
Christine coached him over the field ask him
"DON'T STAND UP"
don't know why
he stood up and
BANG
HE GOT HIT!

FUNNY!!!

9th DingWei and his unicorn!! EPIC!!

10th Keegan's Fling used more than 10 pairs of hand to make him dunk into
the river~HAHA talked bout some load~

11th would be the night walked...we ran into cows and to chase them off~
the leader chase them off with a very funny way where by he cracked me UP OH SO BAD!
>.<

FUNNY~

12th fetching pervs in my car talked about sexual organs for hours and dont feel bored~
awesome much~ @.@

the PAINFULNESS

2 and a half hours of jungle tracking aka Waterfall searching~
we stomp into the river...step into mud...
climb over bamboos and John crashed a dozen of it~
LEECH is the reward we get from nature...

we reached the WOW OH SO SMALL WATERFALL....
and we didn't even stay there more than half an hour
EPIC!

than walked back~with a more mild PATH

WHO SAID?!
ALL THOSE SLOPS AND SLIPPERY MUD!
GOD~
and guess what
I SLIPPED~

coach chicharito laughed~

DUFUSS!

~.~

the walked was so good...
cause i get to walk with you...
you and i
the talk...the song...the tease...was crazy and fun...

if i was...

-.- hmmmmm

the place was splendid ~breath taking beautiful...

and you are around~

DENG!

the CONGRATS

tingFung and his ankle walked all the Tracking we did within those day
he is AWESOME~

Sukesh and his FEVER and he manage to stay happy with us
cause he wanted us to enjoy without worries~
you are strong oh^.^

the trip was drawn with a beautiful full-stop by having lunch together
at my shop~
thank you all so much~

GLAD THAT YOU ALL ENJOYED THE FOOD~

after this trip i miss you guys and gals even more...

SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK

BULLETS ARE BACK

i'm NOT POOR

2011-08-23T21:15:00.003+08:00

i always believe people's face is best represent what they are like...
we for Chinese have this idiom said :面由心生

what you are inside somehow make what you are outside...
only those odds where you will never believe behind that angelic face he/she is actually a DIABLO!

by then we for Chinese have this idiom best fit for them :衣冠禽兽
which means nice suit/cover-up~demons~ARGH~

on the bloody 21st of August beautiful me woke up in a beautiful morning,
as usual picked my ASS up and fly to work on a BLOODY WEEKEND!

arrive with a sneeze and made my running nose for one BLOODY DAY~
AWESOME!!!

due to PERFECT LIVING in PWTC...all the senior march up to the battle field and fight absolute sales...
as the junior ME!! i based in my own MALL..so as usual...i have to serve whoever came in for inquiry~that's my job~

commercial tone in speaking:
" Welcome to Signature Kitchen, I'm Raymond. Your very own Kitchen Designer specialist in making and designing your dream kitchen that will make you and your family happy using it. As long as it not going to explode" TM follow up with a SMILEY.

so this very last customer walked in 15minutes before my shifts end. It was a family, 1 humble and kind husband with a 1 bitchy, arrogant she thinks she is the queen "PUTUI" wife and 2 cute adorable offspring running wild like 2 chic in a their grandma's farm house.

as usual welcome them with a wArm greetings, sat them down and listen to their inquiry. with a smile ^.^ TM

we finished the discussion~OOPS it was me and her husband discuss the design~she MERELY talked to me~because her eyes were too small for STAR like me~so i didn't get near her or even talked to her~ she left before her husband and her husband leave after that.

SO

i went and packed my stuff~

SUDDENLY,

I SAW BRONZE SILKY WRAP OF CRAP STOMP IN TO MY SHOWROOM shriek that she lost her adorable I PHONE 4~

i was shocked and i helped her look around, and even ALLOW her to use OUR COMPANY PHONE TO CALL HER I PhONE 4...

well it got through but the weren't any ringing...
i actually turn the showroom upside down to look for her hp~
sadly no where to be found...
she was very upset~
she stomp out the showroom without a word...
i was in a hurry...i left~

at 8sth i guess she stomped back to the office and she found out that i had left..
she SCREAMED at my colleague~
SAYING ME TOOK HER I PHONE~

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
DO I LOOK LIKE A THIEF???!!!!
DO I LOOK LIKE IM POOR???!!!!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY I CAN SPEND ON MY CLOTHES THAN YOUR IPHONE???!!!!
DO YOU KNOW IF I NEED IPHONE I NEED TO FLIP OPEN MY HAND AND SAY MAMA PAPA I WANT IPHONE~

STRAIGHT AWAY I HAVE IT DON'T SAY 1~2 3 4 ALSO THEY WILL GET ME!!

do i need to STEAL YOUR DAMN CHIBAI IPHONE~ and my friends all holding expensive phone and including your iphone4~why i need to steal yours when so many are flying around me?!!!!!

OH MY GOD~YOUR BRAIN WENT DOWN DRAIN LIKE THE REST OF YOUR BLOOD~
just you are special your blood dont bleed like usual woman~once a month but everyday when you wake up~IT DOES NOT BLEED~BUT SHOOT LIKE GEISER!!!!

phew~deep breath~

after that at 1125pm i received a call~a threat call from her brother:

(beautiful ray= BR VS dumb ass = DA...)

DA: HI is this raymond from Signature Kitchen?

BR : YES i am... you are?

DA: HI im sorry calling you this late (you know it and you still doing it? DUMB) hi i'm CHUA, jasmines brother( HELL knows who are you and your sister is THATS WHY GTH)

BR : YOU mean eddie TAN'S WIFE?

DA : YES and i know that my sister lost her phone at your showroom (IF THAT WAS MY SHOWROOM you dont have what it takes to talk to me you JUNK) and i hope you~i dont mean you (WTF)?? as in you or your colleague knows who took it...just take it out...and we will forget about it and even will give you guys RM300 ang pau as LOST AND FOUND reward(DAMN INSULTING WEI). THIS PHONE is very important to her business. (if it was that important why put it in a phone instead an IPAD? IN FACT WHY SO DAMN CARELESS???)

BR: SIR as this hour you called me and said sth like this...i felt like this a threat call...

DA : NO NO haihz raymond i just want to be friends with you~( just in case you dunno in my word you said like that either you wanna get laid with me or you are just...YA GET LAID~but from her looks and your voice~you are AN OLD FOSSIL WAITING TO BE SLOT INTO MUSEUM OF NIRVANA~) i did not say any vulgar words neither scream at you~we just wanna get that phone back (follow up with RM300 shits) and i called because you did not answer the call before this...(IN CASE you don't know its sunday~i have rights not to answer any business call...2nd i didnt bring my phone out the whole day...3rd i picked up for what when your BRAINLESS SISTER GONNA SCREAM my next life out of me?)

BR : OKAY SIR tomorrow i will go back and search for you again~And we shall meet for CCTV to sort things out~okay? thank you sir...

OFF THE PHONE and i ended up HIGH FEVER cause i was so darn pissed!!!!

told my mom~and she and my sister drag me to police station and made a report in case of anything~

22nd i woke up early cause i have to attend the god damn briefing~
after that i went to main office and report to the above management regarding what had happened~

and i must say~MY COMPANY ALL OF THEM KNEW THE CASE~AND THEY say~ME stealing is the best joke of the year~they believe me~

in the end CCTV couldnt showed what happen cause that specific angle the CCTV just cant get it~

i wasnt scared cause i WILL NEVER DO THIS SHIT~
i'm running a treasurer for my cheer team how much money i hold in my hand~and do i need to seal your iphone???

I'M WAITING FOR IPHONE5 DAMN IT!!!

in the end~they walk off without anything~

company settled for me~ask me to forgive them cause we are out here doing big things making HUGE MONEY shouldn't be so calculative...take this as a lesson so you will know what to do next~

and today im sick~so i have to MC!~ DENG !

listening to ayumi hamasaki FORGIVENESS~forgive them~forgive them ^.^

HELL NO I WILL CURSE THEM!!!!! (RAWR)

let it go

2011-08-19T19:11:00.003+08:00

~let it go,you gotta let it go,keep living your life cause it's your time,your time,your time,YOUR TIME~

soul searching

KONON

being so vulnerable these days,
but still i can cover it up with a smile,
like im fine with anything at all...

forcing myself to be ok is it somethings you call self-abuse?
i don't really know the definition of soul searching while you dont get yourself lost...

im upset and really feel like crying...
but so hard to cry~

as if the heart is not tired enough...
i want to get strong and better i need to bring down myself entirely...
for now...
no self confident at all now...

even momentum also lost somewhere else in the space...
funny~

i guess im used to depending on people...
instead entirely standing with my own leg...

people around attached like lighting zapping each other antenna~lolz

it's like what the beep~

even today this G couple walk-into my showroom~
PURCHASING WARDROBE~
make me want to like use a torpedo and launch directly into their general DIRECTION~
hafffffuuuuuu *deep breath*

so this is me wining how sad i am~
boohoo~

LET IT GO!!!

five after five

2011-08-16T17:36:00.004+08:00

after my 5 deals breaker post,
my queen decided to name her mini-album FIVE...

do you think it's a coincident?

NO!

WE THINK ALIKE...perasan? *I KNOW*
just allow me la thank you...

SO NICE OF YOU...

i've been thinking alot recently, after listening to her new song...
from there i come out with my own thoughts...
and i have this habit...
i write in down...like poem bah...
in mandarin TEEHEE...

清清淡淡的谈笑风声。
单纯一味的为了守护大家开心而活的日子，
在这不经意到来的季节敲醒了大家的回忆
那时累积的爱，今天开花结果了吗？

不敢狂言自大的话语是想静静的看着
心爱的你对我细说你想要的梦想
就是这样
你陪我我陪你
在这片天空走下去

仰望你的笑容后让我只能害羞的望着地上
你说我啊
为何这样傻傻的
那是因为你不知道我对你的感觉让我愿意
和你傻傻地和你追逐在这没有答案的世界
是自己无可否认在你的身边没有答案的幸福

不敢狂言自大的话语是想静静的牵着
你那快不属于自己的那双手
就是这样的自己傻傻让回忆陪伴吧？
心里的话就这样躲开你影藏在最爱的回忆吧?

Beloved- Ayumi Hamasaki
enjoy^.^

it's not easy to catch...

2011-07-24T23:15:00.001+08:00

"but it's easy to understand"

life had been quite easy on me recently,
after cheer, the speed of my life slows down already~ as a matter a fact~
makes me kinda slumber too~

yet according to John, training resume soon~
and finally something i can cling on once again~
without letting myself you know~to catch some idea that's brain damaging!!

went out with Johnathan the other day to pyramid, enjoyed the para-para machine...
it has been a while since i last played~
and also to have a time out~

"不知道自己是如何一个人走来，也不知道自己还可不可以再走下去,就算坚信，自己还可以回味一下回忆，让自己再走下去”

something is not right with my PC...haihz~phone spoil this spoil that spoil~what the heck!!!
“

knows me well

2011-07-23T01:54:00.002+08:00

no one knows me as well as you do...

just 1 word you get to know what i want...
just 1 thing i tell you~you wont forget...

until the very last day...
somehow you are still the one that i love the most...
even though you are beyond my reach...

we came through so many things together...
knows each others heart like the back of our hands ya ^.^

i might like someone..but hei~you are still gonna be the one that i love...
and cherish the most...

maybe that's the reason why...
that you are always by my side whenever i turn around...
doing things...taking pictures...even participating in things and events...

your shadow...smiley face....those silly moves you have...
it's rather amusing and tickles my heart~

silly~YOU know me well~

YOU(ALL)CHEERmyLIFE

2011-07-18T21:28:00.002+08:00

Cheer has never been much attraction to me...
it's just a bunch of girls holding POMPOMS shaking their ass off in their super tiny short skirt
showing how good are they doing booty shake...

but this guy invited me to join their cheer class 1 day for trial...
so i was thinking...okay...why not since he asked me for a long long time...
and i'm free...

lifeless working people...need some chemistry once a while...

so i went...

end up i love what they are doing...

than this guy prompted me this question...

"ray, do you think you can commit to this team?"

i look back at him and say "why not? i love what you guys have here!"

not only he asked...Claire darlingy and Hannah darlingy asked me the same thing too...

since around March i'm in...so he welcomed me this family of his ...the man who inspire me for a change...he is Johnathan Teo...

ever since than i've been train to do front roll...backward roll~slowly handstand~coached by the bad ass coach Steven Chicharito...he has never been kind when comes to training but he will definitely tell you where to get back up wherever and whenever you fall...

slowly i come to a place where i stuck~which is my handstand~Steven TsienWen helped me through with guidance along from all of my team mates...

Coach...you once said if not because of Johnathan...Claire...and TingFung... i will never stay in this team...

can i say that you are wrong here... i stayed because of all of them...and also you...are the 1st coach i have in my life...i have always been the coach back in my school days...i learn from any else where and coach my team...

i had always been a StreetJazzer...never a manly Bboys like Sukesh,Trumen and Patrick...
never joined cheer like Johnathan,Kimyoong,Jeffrey,DingWei and KengXin...
not as bad ass cheer stars like Hannah,Charissa,Claire,Christine and Jolene...
not as flexy as Angel...
not as high tolerant as YaoTingFung, YoongLoon and StevenTsienWen...

but you guys accept me the way i am...

DEAR GIRLS**

Claire, my dearest...i always look up to you whenever i see problem...you are the strongest among all the girls, whenever i talked to you i felt so must trust i can give it to you just like that... to be honest i wish we can have more time to spend...you always talk things through~and assisting you is the proudest thing i can ever done...darling allow me to say thank you so much for your guidance and love...

XOXO bitch XD!!!!!

Charissa deary...you have the longest leg and hair among all of us...seriously~its time to show your stuff on the runway babe!!! promise that you will get stronger day by day...we can do it again~if you never stop...calm down whenever you face something, things have 2 sides even SEX only have 2 either male or female...the 1 who have both~erm~hei what are the odds right?
HAHA~
deary...thank you so so much for your advice...and helps...

XOXO deary ^.^ PS* your straw tricks really don't work > . <

Hannah Darling...lets get some tea and scones...haha~you are the craziest fly-er in our team!! your slowness and funny reaction at times crack me up!!! you are always happy...but never knew you can be that sentimental at times...when you cried yesterday you make me cry~ALMOST~haha...please stay with us~i wish i can work with you even more...
Darling...Thank you so so much for being there for me every time...your smiles and cheerfulness is the true definition of what cheer is...

XOXO DARLING~ > . <

Jolene Sweetie~come here cry baby~HUGZ!!!!!you cry so badly like the cousin of yours~haha~
so sentimental...this is never a bad thing...it shows that you are sincere with your feelings...
Sincere is what we need with our family...it's a must have...you are so good with counting~i have to learn from you sweetie~thank you jolene~thank you for helping me along this way...please allow me to work with you more in the future...

XOXO swettie ^.^

Angel babe~its rather sad that you couldn't join us this year~do we get a chance the compete together next year? i hope we can get a go for this! WE need you in this team~please lets fight side by side again this next coming tournament...
Thank you for being here for us...

XOXO babe XD!!!!

last but not least...

CHRISTINE honey!!! MY MAIN FLY-ER THANK YOU SO MUCH for you tolerance with me...i know i have not been a good base that you hope to work with...im grateful with the opportunity that you gave me to work with you....at times people won't know what the others have in mind...you have to tell them..you have to bring up what you have in mind on the table...so we can see and hear what you want...you trusted me and Truman at the end...thank you hon~you did a great job~
you allow me to do my part also~i hope to base you better next year~not better~but AWESOME~with love and wishes~

XOXO hon~ Xp

YO-DUDES~whats UP~(ceiling)

Johnathan Teo~

as a leader of the team...you rock...you might be soft towards your teammates due to certain reason of yours...not all leaders lead the same way...you have your own recipe you have your own theory...that makes you the captain and leader that we can look up to...a bullets leader...
your tolerance and sacrifices in inevitable, no one can replace you...never~you are always the guy that inspire people...and shows the possibilities of everything in the world...a softy like me can base and toss a girl sky high...john~you enlighten the other side of me...i don't know how to express my gratitude but to say thank you thank you thank you~

we will do it AGAIN~

YapYoongLoon~

OH HO CHARLIE~you are one of the nuts among the team...you amuse me when im driving you to practice while im sleepy...that helps...your sincerity of smile and tears, i appreciate it...cause as i said sincerity is what we need in our family~not just your own family but our BULLETS FAMILY~...you are one of the 1st person to talked to me when i 1st came into the team...i still hate you when guys threw me a surprise party while i look totally dumb clapping for someone else~and you hoop in front of me and sing to me~thats where it hits me~that you guys were celebrating MY birthday~you bad ass!!

thank you yoongloong for being there for me as a guidance~

Let us do it Again...so we can redeem those tears~

Jeffrey!!!

i saw your post early on the bullets page...saying that you will not be joining us for next year competition...and you wish we can find someone that can replace you...but im sorry...no one can be replace...you go...i don't think coach and john and US will take that you leaving...your spot is still gonna be here...irreplaceable...
you are a serious jerk~but a good jerk to know and to work with...you are a good man...i know and i believe it so...

if you change your mind...

we can do it again~

KimYoong...

i believe i met you before this...cause you look utterly familiar!!! haha~you are one of the best tumbler in our team...bullets need you and the rest...i really wish to learn more from you and work together with you~if possible~lets work together again!

keep in touch~ PS you and jeffrey is brother can no longer label as friends the tolerance you put up for him~the way you watch-out his back~ its priceless~keep it up~

Sukesh~

MAN!! WE ROCK THE FLOOR WITH STREET JAZZ AND BBOYS~we can work together so well...not only in cheer i hope in the future in our field we can work together as a team...you rock man~don't think girls are troubles~cause troubles are mainly just misunderstanding~
i know you won't stay due to the work load you will have in the future...im sad to know you will choose to go~tears wield in my eye when i type this~haha~
if can~please consider to stay~

cause i wish bullets can show them more next year...

Trueman!!!!

**pink fluffy unicorn** omg~you are such a good base~we build the communication and understanding already~i believe we can do it better next year~you are strong not only physicaly but mentally~express yourself more so people will know you better~thanks trueman~you are exactly your name~A TRUE-MAN~

THanks trueman~

DingWei~

when i get to know you more~you decide to stop cheer~i'm pack with feelings that i have no idea how to express cause~so fast~so soon~its goodbye~i know you made a decision you will never change~you have this mindset of when you sure what you want to do~you will do~no matter how~anyone say~if you ever wants to come back~please do~i had a great time working with you~

not to mention you pretend to be Jay-Chou in my car!!! DAMN!!!

haha~

THANKS DINGWEI~ oh ya~im not girlish~im just soft~

TsienWen~

We are working under the same company~can you believe it??? and we cheer in the same team~what says? we are best friends now~thank you for helping me with my handstand~im so happy that we manage to perform together~

We rock!! next year lets rock it again!!!

YaoTingFung~

aiya~so pain so pain~i know right~nothing to say~but thank you for helping me all along~i know you too well you know me too well~hugz brothers~

lets rock the floor again next year k^.^

KokKENGXIN!!!!

most adorable member of bullets...what can i say about you? well deep voices every time talks~
can sing~like Broadway~a very noble person~enjoyed every conversation with you~and thanks for being so nice~you helped me when i need so~you are great~would love to see you very soon~

and i know exactly why you love HIMYM its filled with sex talk all~no wonder you are into it~haha~

do let us work together again alright~hugz!!

PS you still owe me a drink!!!

Dennis...

im sorry that you can no longer do sports~no one can take that so strong like the way you take it~you are the legend of bullets~a person that we shall look up to every time we about to fall~reminding us~why we should keep it up~

THANK YOU~

Davin and Patrick~

Adulthood does restricted us in doing many things~i understand that~but i hope at someday~we will get to get down on the floor and rock till those judges fall~

Keegan~
although you are not the performer~but you are exactly one of the man who hold all the pillar of this base of ours...who can be so generous treating us drink and let us use their houses as the training field~NO ONE BUT YOU~thank you keegan~bullets can never thank you enough for your generosity~

Coach Chicharito~

Yo~thanks coach~other than thank you~i wish to say that i hope next year~i can be brighter and do better to impress you~

thanks for you patience and thoughts you put in for us~you are great~

**no matter how it goes~this chapter has come to an end~where tomorrow will turn a new page**

allow me to say~
I LOVE YOU BULLETS

clean

2011-07-10T15:04:00.002+08:00

we are human...human makes mistake...

NO MATTER

what race
what gender
what age
what nation

YOU ARE

you are going under the law of Nature...
Law of Justice...

its clear that no people will punish or discriminate unless they are the bad one...
no matter how much you want to suppress the truth...
it will be review...no matter you like it or not because we created our own law...
its beyond us the law of nature...

GOOD WILL BE BLESS AND AGREED AND TO BELOVED...
EVIL WILL BE HATED AND DISCRIMINATE...

you cannot ask why...good is the one should be love...and bad is the one should be hated...

it's a natural law of attraction, a law that live in all humans heart... the balance of all livings...

Malaysian is pretty much a nation where everything works in a moderate speed...
we always been educate how good our nation is...
how peaceful we are...

as a matter a fact! i really does believe that our nation is peaceful and ready for more development...
more improvement and a lot more because we gather 3 different major races here and some politicians took advantage out of us...abuse us...try to brain wash us with their

PHILOSOPHY

but those are for loser...
we are loser to compare with our younger generation at age 2~don't think we can out smart 5 years old, which i strongly believe i can out smart someone older than me...

this shows the evolutionary of mankind and our thoughts and perception...
when we look at the thing...
Last time people would listen to what people tell...

BUT NOW

we will look and analyses things on our own...
mainly we were educated since young...
we are noble and thoughtful...

we are not AS narrow minded as the previous generation 1 decade makes a huge different...
our politicians today...
old man more than young man...
because they cannot accept that same recipe wont work every time they want it...

its time to come clean...
by rubbing off those old dirty stain that will polluting our future...

they'll see

2011-07-08T19:17:00.002+08:00

above is 1 of ayumi's new song in her up coming mini album "FIVE"

its a theme song for a famous X-Box game name "The Tales of Xilia"
it's so energetic...it's so HOPEFUL...

after listening to the song and the lyrics

below is my interpretation of the song...
so...

在这动荡的时代，某个时候，某个地方，
总会有个让希望和梦想居留的地方，
不用害怕今天的努力会否有得到理想的成果，
因为还有走过来的人，
会握紧你的手一起投奔那属于自由的天空，
只要相信和真诚挚意的活着，
不用害怕到达不到的话，
只要自我相信，
这片天空下
一定有人看得到

C3 competition is next week, recently i'm busy over work
and cheer practice...
talk about privacy and a life,
eventually i don't have
lol~

COME BULLETS!!!

for you

2011-06-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

received a stunning news on Friday morning,
said TingFung's grandpa passed away, around midnight...

thus Friday night, Claire and I went to the funeral as a respect to the family,
Christians funeral and Chinese funeral have huge different,
such as Christian is all about Prayer, and some background telling regarding the dead,
Chinese have all sorta ritual and chants, we have all sorta logic figured out saying where the soul will go and help them crossover cause they are scared and fragile after they die.

Hence, we will see the SHIFU doing all the chants and moves to conduct the ritual.

i still remember the very 1st funeral i attend, was my own grandpa...
i remember the details, the chants and what we did as well how sad and how badly we cried for our grandpa...
especially my mom~

after the funeral, Claire i went to get sth to eat~at the food court nearby not bad la~

5 deals breaker

2011-06-13T17:56:00.005+08:00

why do i feel love is in the air?
cause i'm breathing it...LAME!!!!

lately there is this love song singing at workplace...
well maybe not song but a story to be told instead, that this girl work nearby had a crush with our
dearest colleague~

well can see that world is still filled with love and hope...

lately really busy,
with work, with training, with friends and family and with my life...
a circle that never stop...for a while...

i had a crush with someone...
someone younger and shorter and even smaller than my size...
"whats withe 5 deals breaker"

i always wanted someone taller than me
i always wanted someone mature than me
i always wanted someone smarter than me (he is)
i always wanted someone clumsier than me (he is)
i always wanted someone who can depend on

NAH~!

listening to ayumi hamasaki Virgin Road repetitively~MORE THAN 10 TIMES LIAOW~
don;t have the feeling the past few months...until he appear bah~
just a lil taller that's all im asking for....

what am i blabbering here...like a 5 years old lil girl...GEE GEE GEE GEE

night ballad

2011-06-01T02:19:00.002+08:00

Monday was our Bullet's cheer prac~
hurt my lips~
no big~looks like Angelina Jolie now *where's my Brad Pitt**?

listening to ayu's song...name Ballad...awaken so many deep buried feelings of mine...
since so long...
the lyrics mainly trying to call back the love one~
ask them to stay...even it maybe just this moment only...

well, will be a lil emo if you ask me...
even i try to stay strong...
recently the mood is all tense up due to the competition is closing in like inch by inch~and we havent successfully get the running done...fully with all the people IN!!

STRESS GILER~

its late~better sleep la~
before i brag more~waha~

beneath this stary sky

2011-05-26T01:48:00.002+08:00

this song was found in a friends blog of mine...
so soothing
but yet
sorrow

my birthday wishes still ain't coming true...
what the heck...
just do my stuff and strive for the best...
nothing to be sad about...

i realize i've been quite lazy recently,
yea
WHAT THE HECK...

recently its all about work after work...
i'm so tired with the repetitive routine that i need to follow...
i complain alot~
stop whining~haha
remind me of lady gaga and justin timberlake...
at SNL show~where she dress up like a bottle of wine...
*cling*

if you wish to listen the above song i mention in a more
relaxing way try to play this together...
as well...

rainy mood

shadow

2011-05-22T00:48:00.002+08:00

was sick...
am okay now...
i can't believe that i push myself this far...
even sick i'm still determine to go for training...
i've lost my mind...
even my mom start wondering if im still me...MYSELF...

don't ask me...im still figuring where i stand now...
even what my life wants now...
somehow, i have no idea, nor anyway to explain it either...

recently i wonder a lot about myself, how to explain, it's like part of me awaken for a reason,
half awaken and half asleep...that's why until now i'm still uncertain so...

it's closing in the idea of myself...

what i wish to do now seems to get clear whenever i can settle down and focus...
life need focus...and now i'm getting it...

if you ask me what i plan to do now, all i can tell you is...

"i no longer have any reason to cry for, but a reason to destroy myself and evolve..."

haha~sounds big...to me it is...

its 1am already better sleep before i get all sick again...

suddenly i have this sentence pop out today~i wonder if you wonder too?

"sometimes i wonder whose shadow i walk beneath, and who walk beneath my shadow..."

teddy-BEAR

2011-05-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

looking at the time, just realize how long i have been stay awake facing the reality world of this
instead of hiding in the dreamland...away from those nightmare and worries that bothers me

drama 101...work at weekends suck to the max~zillion times worst than having bad sex...
noisy environment and people like couple doing freaking fashion show outside your
window like nobody business...

today was a very productive day...
met 2 customers and went for site visit at this newly receive dato customer from ampang...
HIS HOUSE IS NICE!! TRUE IDEA OF MINIMALIST~but the furniture in his kitchen make me fainted a few times...

cause when i open my eyes and faint again~regain conscious than i see again faint again...

*drama*

minimalist but his house have the undone dry kitchen in a shape of kampung house...
have this partition with malay traditional carvings...and the picnic mat in tradition malay weaving...aka TIKAR?

i guess~

so i'll be doing his dry kitchen and advice Kak Aina with the renovation of his own private suite...

his bedroom is isolated from the main mansion...right beside a huge swimming pool...
the whole mansion is for his sons and maid.... he is a divorce man with loads of cash...

*can see cause of the house is basically BLAB* **Buy Land And Build*

emo~i need a drink~

autobiography

2011-05-14T16:16:00.002+08:00

what will you put yourself as other than yourself...
we used to write essay saying that "jika saya sebuah kamus" Bahasa Malaysia's favorite topic...

even today they are still playing the same old song (-.-)"
cause my cousin asked for my help...

tonight...i was thinking to ask her to write herself as a teddy bear...a very cute and fluffy one...
fated to wait to be love, ending of a 50% happiness and a 50% of sadness...
a gamble of life... just like what we are doing now...
a life that filled with 50/50 always make us doubting if the next moves is right or wrong...
next step would be fatal or not...

unforeseen doubt to live in this world...make us hard to do everything correctly...
even you have the best and good intention...
but does it keep you back from doing what you are doing?
honestly I do...im scared...very...

what happen yesterday, was a nightmare to me...
a nightmare that i cannot wake up and pretend that it never happen...
i heard so many voices about him...
too many...until i doubted that way too...
because what happen it makes no sense to me...
no matter how i try to figure it out...

maybe just let it cool down 1st...
there is a crack now...and i hated crack...
because it's gonna be 50/50 that it'll won't mend...

who can i tell my doubts to...

23rd

2011-05-08T03:21:00.005+08:00

what a number...
life feels like game that plays with so numbers...
i have made the 23rd cuts in my life...which i don't know how long is it gonna be...

but God exist...cause good things keep happening on me...since the day I am born...
i have a good mother...no one in the world can ever replace her...
i have good family...though there is one that's not that good~*shall not go there*
i learned to be a good person...CAUSE of my family...

nevertheless at this long path of mine...
I'm not alone at all...

cause i have you all here with me...

my 23rd birthday celebrated at BULGOGI a KOREAN BBQ RESTAURANT...at KOTA DAMANSARA

WHERE good food are served...

this man that make this thing happen~he says its just a dinner~
to me...I'm a grateful person...whatever you do is everything to me...
i wanna hold you so tight to tell you how grateful I am...

this woman...she did things quietly behind...and i know always that she's the master mind of all
the surprises~
this party is the most completed party i ever had in my life...

i have all the best here with me...
my family of affair...
my sisters....
and my best friends...

what can be better than this?

the family of affair since 2007~

C.R.Y

the best friendsssssssssss ( who can have more than me??????)

the SISTER HOOD minus 2 as 1 is not SISTER instead brother in law
and another 1 self-proclaimed not a sister but brother but sister like (~.~)

and finally~the man that i can always trust in my entire life...
thank you so much for being here and there for me...
thank you ah sao^.^ for the lovely card you made for me...

to the girls...CLAIRE CHAN...LYDIA LOH...NATASHA LOO...BOON ENG...ADELINETUI...TANSEOHUN..MAHUISHAN...WEIGIN...

to the boys...YAOTINGFUNG...STEVENLEE...YEOWLOONG...JOHNATHANTEO...
NIGELLEE...MIKE...JEROMETHIA...MINGYAP...KELVIN....PATRICKOK

to the sisterhood family...JACK...ISAAC...JOHNATHAN...DOUGLAS...IVANJUEN...
DESMOND...

AND

all the people that wished me on my facebook wall~
I LOVE YOU ALL AND I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU SO

THANKS GUYS

somewhere only we know

2011-04-28T13:22:00.001+08:00

as glee season kicks in~more and more inspiring this sitcom gets...
every single episode always make me go into consideration about my life...
about many many things...

the above song sang by Kurt's beloved Blaine...
when Kurt transfer back to McKinley High...
he sang this song to Kurt...showing Kurt
how much he will miss him...
it sucks cause just last episode they get attach...
the next thing you know Kurt switch back to McKinley High...

everything happens too fast...
makes me kinda like sitting in a roller coaster...
1 second here next second there...

still i love this show...

today i manage to close a deal...the 1st closing for this month...
which is 1st of May...well after 1 month without and closing...
this kinda boost me up a lil...
see whats next...

haters

2011-04-21T11:44:00.002+08:00

recent glee series is still awesome as it is...though song selection wasn't my favorite...
but the inspiring talk from Holly Holiday（Gwyneth Paltrow)...

she says when you hate someone due to your own jealousy, and makes you attack that person...
it's plain selfish...you hurt that particular person just to make yourself feel better?
it's not fair for the person who work hard...

and she even mention that in this world that fully ruling by technology, using internet to commit an insult wouldn't cause you physical damage in return in other words get BEATEN UP....

but the person you pick on would definitely suffer from your own selfishness....

as always the show keeps inspiring people to think why we are who we are now...
we are the reason why who we are...
when you are somebody your job is to be that somebody...

DO IT! EMBRACE IT!

not to be a coward by hiding yourself back into the shells...
and tell people you are proud~
of who you are...

hmph~

satisfaction~im not satisfy with my current self...
i need opportunity and luck in precise~haihz~

why leh?

2011-04-21T01:35:00.002+08:00

Claire oh claire~what sorta things come into your head at such late night~
hmmm
i wonder too~

dying no more

2011-04-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

recently addicted to Nicole Scherzinger's new song call "Killer Love"...

love the lyrics, and the beat nevertheless...

recently life is rather monotone~
other than my new joined activity...
Monday and Thursday is like the highlight of my whole entire week...

these people are still new to me...and im still new to them but they are friendly...

what sort a activity i joined?
when i finally get my place in the group and get to perform i will let you know for sure~

okay?

i never tells anything before success...
cause i know exactly the meaning of action speaks louder than words...

oooo~went clubbing last week~met alot of new people~
awesome kan~needa do more socializing to increase personal charms~
WAHSEH~

plastic surgery mahnnn~

also watched KURMA the stand up comedian~damn funny wei~

watch this!

not knowing...

2011-04-08T12:42:00.002+08:00

自己长大的家园自己一路走来的风景
不退色但却多了几分不解的沧桑
回忆起母亲说过小时后的趣事
在夕阳下我的步伐陪我回忆着
这些时时让我牵挂的一切

自己不敢走的第一步是你牵着我走
不可忘却你的疲态不小心从压仰中流入
当时我无知的眼里依然可以从今天的心
掏出父亲那是的表情
这些时时让我牵挂的一切

自己的兄妹一直都走在同一道路上
长大的眼泪成长的笑颜
回忆是有苦有甜
这就是一家人的人生
这些都是时时让我牵挂的一切

走进自己长大的校园中
那棵树那大门依然保留那无懈可击的严肃
那时的自己是怎样走到了今天
一味的回想起自己的好与坏
庆幸自己的同伴都是天使的化身
直到今天的自己置身于现实的逆流
我还有爱的人牵着我不离不弃
守护彼此到最后的那一口气

i'm getting IT

2011-04-07T12:21:00.003+08:00

MY NEW HAIR STYLE~i hope can come out right la~

guys in heels

2011-03-27T23:30:00.004+08:00

KAZAKY
a boy group from Ukraine...
lately their fame is spreading like wild fire among the gay zone...

i found them a lil hard to accept cause they wear HIGH HEELS...
though to me it's norm....
and eventually it's my dream too~

and than when i saw their stunts they pull i'm like so freakishly stunt...
i'm amaze with their moves...even the music they made is GAY 101...(i know i am too)

but somehow they are doing this amazing job even the model at times can't even do...
they litterally do the walk the walk~talk the talk~

this picture above is so unique~have some feelings within....

kiss

2011-03-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

finally Blaine is attached with Kurt...
though in Real life Blaine is straight himself...
what's in the show just stay in the show, that's show biz

when they kiss, than i realize that quite long already that i felt warmth from
another lips

kiss...i love kissing...cause of the feeling
can never be describe...

this scene appear at the latest episode which i believe will be banned
on Astro
as GAY is still A NONO to orang utan...

hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

mens...

2011-03-19T02:14:00.005+08:00

*SiWon from Super Junior

can you believe at year 2011~
i fall in love with these 11 dudes~
damn~

*Ronnie Woo from Los Angeles*

he work as a model~damn~

*Naoto*

the above hotty used to be ayumi's dancer
and the below hotty is still ayumi's most popular dancer
and yet the hottese among all

*Shuya Mizuno**

Love Love

this cute handsome man below is a member of SHINEE

*MinHo from SHINEE*
HIS SMILE...

killing me~

i guess you would know this guy~his name is Nickhun~

*hotty from 2PM*

look at his face~ *.*

one of the biggest crush of my life~
BIG BANG

*SYEUNGRI*

look at his abs~ITS LIKE DAMN~

ALSO FROM BIG BANG!!!
T.O.P

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i would sell all my shoes just to have him~
warghhhhhhhhh >.<

below is the one i love for only one day the next day he paktoh
already~AND YET I STILL LOVE HIM punya fella

from SHINEE

*KIMJYUNGHON*

p/s : i still love you anyway~ T.T

here comes the one and only ang moh that get on my list

here comes

*CAM GIGANDET*

his eye is so alluring~its like
"babe, i want you"

ahhhhhhhh

"i want you toooooooo threeeeeeeeeee"
LAST BUT NOT LEASE

MY ONE AND ONLY HUSBAND IF CAN~
like his quality de la~.~(face palm)

my LONGEST LOVE OF MY LIFE...
DEAR YUNHO

from TVXQ

*SARANGHAEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OPAHHHHH*

after this post~PLEASE DEAR FRIEND~

BACK OFF MY MAN~THEY ARE ALL

MINE , MINE I TELL YOU

when your good is not good enough

2011-03-13T18:54:00.004+08:00

what can you do when your good isn't good enough...

how to make perfection from a broken and retarded person...
is it always a failed attempt...when you try to get it right...
and no matter how it brings you down...you just don't give up...

but i'm not sure about that...especially myself...if i can keep it up...
why is it so hard to please myself...when i know there isn't anything else for me to do...
is it quiet is the best way to deliver a message?
is it keep it to yourself will make everyone happy even when it is wrong?

but that can never be me...
because it will never be taken in by you...
if i just keep it quiet...

chasing shadows

2011-03-12T17:38:00.002+08:00

recently just work and outing...
i live a life...a busy life no denial at all...

the other day he text me a message follow up with a call~crying from the other side of the phone...
saying how much he miss me and regret...and wish to turn back times...
but sadly...
my heart hurts too...but i would never patch back with him...

3months has gone...
im glad that i've made an impact in his life...
that means i love him the right way but never appreciated at the end...
that's why the end was drawn...

KENA SAMAN...
i realize that these fella damn good with speed trap but darn sucks in catching thieves...
why are they so DUMB?

dear customer because of you, me and my colleague get a slice of dry beef ...
NO thank you very much!

recently knew a guy or 2 online~haven't meet~have this strange desire to know one of them...

BUT

when i tell it to my friend...
they gave me this awesome look...
AWESOME...
please put a bracket on it...

he is high profile...
but a gentlemen...

he might be a gaymanizer...
but a gentlemen...

he might be a CASANOVA...
but a gentlemen...(slap myself)

ah...WHAT THE HELL LA!!

DONT CARE LA~

The other day went out with darling(s) :

JOHNATHAN SIM...DOUGLAS PAPAN...IVAN SOONG

had dinner @ the curve - the apartment

to me their menu shrink...
food no longer up to a par...
but environment still fine with me...

diVa

2011-03-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

what makes a diva?

CAN I BE A DIVA?

CAN YOU BE A DIVA?

what does it takes to become a diva?

i have no idea what to do... i guess there isn't any formula for it

just you and yourself walking down the runway~

deal or no deal

2011-03-06T21:36:00.003+08:00

DEAL!!

haha finally after 4months and 4 days in this company finally I've score a kitchen deal!!
at cost around RM30k and yet more to come...

will commit my 100% concentration now to bring this kitchen flawlessly to the customer...
thank you for being so much faithful in me~
i will do my best to fulfilled your dream kitchen~

haha~

but when is my dream get fulfilled than?

things can never go back to the same~ but let's just hope that tomorrow would be better than what we have pass by yesterday~

compare

2011-03-04T14:28:00.001+08:00

*what to compare when there is nothing to compare at all?*

i hate to look into my weakness because all my weakness is debate of life...

ENDLESS

always a topic~an issue that involves too many pros and cons, that makes people confuse
whether which side they should take, even myself have problem finding that border line...
is it my fault? for being so complicated when i always label myself as someone simple...

what makes simple simple?
what makes complicate complicated?

why compare if you want simple? and just accept it instead...
but i just realize i do change...and i care bout what have changed me...
i compare...i always compare...because i always wanted to be the best...so i can help myself
and everyone else...

i jealous~a lot...over something people have and i don't...
just only at the appearance...

i always fight with my own to get better looking...look up to someone else and compare
why i'm not him or her?

but i realize what to compare, when i can never be you and you can never be me...
and also sometimes, life isn't fair...
but the God above always get something for us...
right God?

today...
the same colleague that join in the company with me resign...
the only one that has no gap with me is gone now...
why they go so fast...
before i can even get a hold of this...

tomorrow shift...is from 2pm till 10pm...
after that badminton with the fellas~life cannot compare...when what you own can definitely

NOT OWN BY ANYONE ELSE

go checkout this song from GLEE by LEA MICHELE "GET IT RIGHT"

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough?**

my favorite day

2011-03-03T01:32:00.003+08:00

when you are SAD...the off day no loner cater to anyone but yourself...definitely enough to walk the whole KL as if there is nobody business...

APPARENTLY....

my life is always overwhelm with friends and family "suddenly occasion"
such car service...go here and there for family..."the husband" admitted to hospital due to food poisoning...and visited a friend that's CURRENTLY part-timing in 1utama...

WOW...

a day fully booked with stuff...recently, really have nothing much to do but concentrate in my career...always planning to strikes~nuff saying...

if can one day~i would just off my hp and go out the whole day without anyone calling me...
just do whatever i want...
don't get me wrong...im not emo over stuff...

just seeking for someway to get what im doing and make it right~

currently obsess with this model from L.A - Ronnie Woo

welcome back my computer

2011-02-27T00:25:00.001+08:00

my comp is back~
even can back online at home,
it gave me more reasons to love my house now~
i'm sad im worry~i wonder if the file in my D drive can be retrieve~but i swear
NO MATTER HOW EXPENSIVE~i want those things back! picture and songs
memories~oh god!!

i wont give in!!

the 400

2011-02-16T16:26:00.002+08:00

posting this blog all the way in Kuala Lumpur, Low Yat Plaza, Starbucks cafe...
i was never a fan in doing things alone, walking alone, eating alone, not talked to anyone for almost a day...

tonight will be meeting up with a friend, a new friend...
expanding my network, i wish to do so...not only for the career wise, in terms of developing my own social life...i have wasted enough time, not REALLY to say wasted just a wrong investment...people that i know, they keep saying that it's good~

well it's good in a way, but definitely not all that bad...

Valentine i hung out with not the less Claire the Clam Queen and Lydia the Whale Queen...
it's like desperate housewives sitting in PekanLama talking about life and dramas that we usually catch on TV at night...

Life...

recently, insomnia attacks me...really hard to get sleep...

yesterday night hang out with Ivan the Ooze, at PappaRich again catching up with his last week agenda and how he spent his valentine in embarrassing himself at Pavilion~

well how he did it? well you know him~you ask him yourself...

i really wish to portrait an idea into my parents head...
i need my time!!
i need my time!!

aiks~

this post is the 400th post ~

HAPPY 400~and yet more to come^^

shop for L.O.V.E

2011-02-10T21:46:00.003+08:00

L.O.V.E

love love love...

Valentine is coming near...couples around should be hype with it by now with the gifts hide in the closet...those anxiousness to see what their love one would look like when they see the gift that you prepared to surprise him or her...

that smile on their face shall be priceless...

this year...my valentine i will end up alone...looking out from the show room and i will see the couples holding each other walking and whispering the love words into the love one ears...

so

they can remember the love words that shall only deliver to the one they love...

even songs...they sing to their love one...so they can feel that in their heart...from one to another...

its has been for so long that i'm attach...fall back to the line of "BACHOLORETTE" it's awkward still... but i will get along with it with hope that ne day i can meet the right one...

i want to know you more...Mr....*seductive eyesight* wink wink
*chiSin* next you will see jump down from building...hahaha #NEVER#

dear all...
Happy Valentine

the medley of Chinese New Year

2011-02-06T10:29:00.002+08:00

恭喜发财啊~各位
HAPPY CHINESE RABBIT YEAR~

well~chinese new year came and gone as usual~nothing special other than collecting ang pau~and the old folks catching up with their gossips~

it's mainly a declaration of our aging "and time to get more responsibilities" day...
what a day...

Johnathan Sim came to my house to celebrate this Rabbit year like last year~
welcome here honey~ other than collecting ang pau...we even send gifts to orphanage and also old folks house...i realize how bless i am not to grow up in orphanage adn have both parents with me~ i felt so bless...though they can be a lil annoying at times...
you know old people with their never tired story telling and grumbling bout how you wear and act...

this year is fantastic just in case you dont get it~it's FAN(read in Cantonese) tastic (swt)
when people keep saying that i gain weight~it's not that pleasing to hear though you back it up by saying you look better than a twig last time...

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MUCH~

anyhow went here and there to bai nian~gathering with the secondary school mate was a bless if i have to say~did some catch up~

work resume on the fourth day of Chinese New Year how awesome my life can be...
totally~
emo this few days~

shall stop blogging how sad i am now~wanna prepare to get home edi

just 1 WORD

2011-02-01T14:06:00.000+08:00

if i want to say ONE word in describe all the up coming thing i have to say about....

my career~

PLEASE!!!

my family~

LOVES!!!

my friends~

RESPECTS!!!

my colleagues~

AWESOME!!!

myself~

SLIMMER or FITTER~

well Ms.Kon is back in Kay Elle went out with her and on Sunday~

Technically last Saturday and my Sunday is pure outing...from noon start and go down to the late night...

Saturday was whole day in 1U~sweeping my clothes~like a twister...
spent rm250 TTT (top to toe) so it's cheap after all~cause i never buy more TTT lower than rm300~i guess that's mainly because that you are poor...now~
POVERTY

starting March i ain't buying anymore clothes instead I WILL SAVED MONEY

FOR

my trip to TAIWAN....END OF THIS YEAR~
so i will find a TAIWAN bf after all~and i will ask him to move here~LOL~
let me enjoy my dreams...don't go wake me UP!!!

anyhow the whole Sunday spent it with Man Yee at Pavilion and Fahrenheit Uniqlo stuff ain't that nice also...it's like FOS...simple repetitive clothes.... repeat after repeat and repeat again...and again and again and again...

well Fashionable-ly repetitive for 3 bloody floors...DUH

it's so "INNOVATIVE" looking at their new attempt of Crystallizing the exterior of StarHill...
its not so impressive...i have no idea why putting cheapo tiles partially and glass partially instead of at a whole... it's glass...it make it look so Bulky and weird...

ew ew 101!!!

Chinese got 1 more day~it's time to say 22 years old...

but yet

2011-01-25T17:25:00.004+08:00

people i meet~people i know~is change~from little teenager turns college~
people have all grown up...even ways at looking things has change... me too...somehow...
there are still something inside me remain as stubborn as i was...
yesterday i saw a wonderful moonlight cross the night sky...huge half moon...
the moon was so close to me for the 1st time after 22 years...
something touches me inside my heart...so warm...

but yet...

so lonely...
yesterday company was a blast...i've won the 1st runner up for the best dress of the night... the only male that won out of 5 women and 3 men...well extra RM300 for my account... at least i have some more money now~hehe~

yesterdays theme was MASQUERADE the DIAMOND MASK i made in college for KBU IAD Club finally is out for expose...and this mask brings me luck i guess...
and the god watches over me above...i really wish that i can wish for more...

but yet...

maybe i shouldn't be so greedy...

but yet...

i am greedy... i know my mom gave me enough stuff to work things out on my own...

but yet...

i just need a little more...as a matter a fact...i know what i want is something that cannot be change...or amend...im not satisfy with my own appearance...

i want myself to be more charming... because i need it i guess...im not photogenic...
but i rock like i can...but not much of people can appreciate it i guess...hahahaihz...
always get compared before even know the people...

good looking=good people?

im not sure~

but yet... i really wish i can be both...
but i dont think you can own both good things at the same time...
when sometimes i feel like i had already own the best things in my life...

as time goes by

2011-01-23T16:42:00.002+08:00

if i have to say~one word to describe my feelings now~ i think i couldn't do so...
i just started to work for 3 month...already i felt like 3 years of non-stop...
maybe my heart was and soul was seriously damage with what happened for the past 1 month

whats withe me has become part of me~i added more and more pages of story into my story...
as im walking proud down my virgin road one day...i will look back and carol my love song with a whole new aria...

ayumi again~sorry this is me~can never change~just like the way i will love the next love of mine until the day i die~ the biggest things i know is no matter how i get washed by those uncertainty i still have to be myself~cause what you are makes you an individual instead of another normy walking down the street with a POKER FACE...

i say i want to be perfect but my friend says something that hits my conscious~

"perfect peoples are scary, they are faking..."

O.O almost have my eyes pop out from my head~

FARNY...

tomorrow is company dinner~im so happy~am excited~really am~

Chinese New Year...CNY2011

2011-01-22T16:52:00.002+08:00

it's another new year...2011~the 23th new year I've celebrated...
it hits in another weeks time...i keeping looking forward...
but after this i shall go back to normal~a flat tone~but to chase the next level of my life instead
...

currently single and i have so many spare times for myself to actually do my things... yoga and diet~since when i don't felt so healthy already...wish much~haha

emo suddenly when im working~on weekends~
i guess when i say no impact on me i guess i was trying hard to be tough~but i am~
so what am i saying?

anyway~get back to work and lets make a countdown for our rabbit year~

at the age of crossroad

2011-01-16T03:52:00.002+08:00

i've gone through this week with an edgy combination of different mode...

BORED TO DEATH AND HAPPENING TO DEATH

at office either i am bored to death or busy to death...

my personal life...after official break up...i seems to be more free...
but as i live for only one man...i somehow neglected the world, even myself...
when i say i cater myself...at times i think i really cater too much...
it is never wrong and i never regret with all the sacrifices i made for this relationship...
cause we never make any mistakes...the only mistakes is that we are not made for each other...
i'm not angry...no desire of vengeance because i'm the one that withdraw myself from this relationship...

just came back from clubbing...with jack and his husband...vincent pohpoh...and Gabriel...
realize that clubbing is like something i have not been to for years...
at that crossing point...
i realize i had disconnected myself to the other side of this world...
and today i went there...i'm phobic, afraid...intimidated with what i see and feel...

out of surprise i realize their are TONS of gay lurking around like no body business...
1st time i experience a club can be so congested until i can hardly breath!
had a great time with letting go some burden when i danced~

saw a lot "my cup of tea"...
but i'm not dare to make a move...other than sticking to my friend...
i thought i can fit in easily...but when you are at age like myself...im bounded too long...
it makes me like inexperience anymore...

(SINCE WHEN CLUBBING NEED TO TRAIN?)
-.-"

and i bump into someone...someone i look up to for quite sometimes...
but due to some unknown reason...he ignored me and i kinda ignored him...thus...
i guess we are just strangers at the crossroad...no eye contact...no nothing...

maybe as what ayu sang in this single of her "crossroad" saying：

What have I lost
As I grew old ?
What have I gain
As I'm growing old ?

no one can sure...but at this point i know~i have lost you~and you~

i always ask the god to be kind and allow my friend to stay beside me...no matter good or bad...
but i guess i'm too selfish to have such requirement...perhaps that's why slowly...
certain people is moving away...

but i wish that at the other side before i lost my eye on them...
i still can look at the back of yours slowly vanish before my eye...

nick-name

2011-01-04T00:17:00.002+08:00

it's the 4th day of 2011 and im blogging with my ALOE VERA HYDRATING MASK on my face...trying to moisture my oh-so-dry skin... THANKS to simYang...
playing One Republic - Good Life...

its so soothing for a late night blog...

it's a brand new year and i have 11 resolution since its year 2011~haha
ain't greedy but wish to maximize my time doing something that is more meaningful and wish to live a life that is more productive...

1... to continue maintaining my body shape...
2...learn yoga and dancing...
3...learn japanese language...
4...get build up...
5...fixing my teeth...
6...want ABS...
7...buy a new house...
8...makes HUGE SALES
9...earn myself as much experience as possible to move on to interior designer post...
10...planning to buy a new house like the 7th i mention...
11...try to make everybody around me happy as always...

words to say to the closest person in my heart. hei i want you guys to Know:

SiStaHooD : -

Johnathan Sim: its the 4th years we knew each other my dear...wish you happy over here with your hubby...and please don't change the way you are...live yourself up instead get yourself wash along by the wave of city lifes...Love You...

Douglas Lam: 4th years you've been my lil sister...spoiled brat you are...always mischievous and naughty around...but you have come back to us like the 1st time i knew you... kind and obedient...Live happily with your New Relationships...love and wishes...

Loo Sze Jack: after years of loneliness you have found some one that will cherish you and "turn you on"...LOL...hahaha...as always i have not much to say but to say thank you to you for being here with me for the past 10 years...jack... i love you~hugz

Isaac Wong: your relationships with your man is truly extra ordinary...you inspire me and alot of us...hope that you guys can stay as long as you guys can...k? ^^ as usual 10 years Isaac we have came so far...Love and care...

BroTherHood:

Yao Ting Fung: we knew each other 5 years plus and you understand me more than i can understand myself...i see great future ahead for you, a career, a family that makes me envy... especially perfect wife you have found... ironic brotherhood we have and no one will have~
Love You forever...hugz

Teo Wei Sheng: WELL knew you for 5 years already le la!!! nothing much to say other than wish you all the best with your training...and i miss you much~hughug~and riPPo is here~LOL

Ivan Soong : knew you 4 years, from rude and arrogant brat, i manage to makes you believe that being kind and humble makes more real friend than those who only look at your appearance and judge you from than...you are unique in every way and im proud to have you to be my friend...Love and best wishes

BeSt BitCheS EveR:

Claire Chan: how can i live a life without you sweety...you are always here whenever my heart is broken...when i need advice and help...you are almost the light house for the lost... you are special and awesome just the way you always say...(stop labeling yourself) i will love you as always and nothing will change!

Lydia Loh: deform whale that always crack me up with nonsense English jokes...you always understand where the problem is i have never seen anybody can be so fun and easy going like you WHALE...thats why you will always be the one and only whale that i wont let the Japanese to turn you into their Sushi...haha~with lots of love

Sam Man Yee: we are close everytime we meet up together even im distance away from you i can never feel left out or get strange along yourside cause your smile and craziness alwasy makes me folow your craziness ad get move along...everytime i talk to you face to face i just felt like my days can never get bored adn you are special~and no doubt i love you much and i miss you...

last but not least...my family...I LOVE YOU GUYS and i will try my best to give you the best life you can ever have...i promise this is what i will be fighting for from now onwards...

MY WORDS:
it's a new year 2011 let's be ourself again...at the same speed we walk on this path...chasing down the dream of ourlife...with just 1 heart of love we have for one another...lets make this love last forever...2011 the year of all the loves COME INTO ONE...

rayray countdown LIFE from 2010 to 2011 @ dream ON

2010-12-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

depicting ayu's countdown concert title to be the new beginning of my year 2011...
because I sheet down the old parts of mine and go on explore the whole new myself this year...

Happy New Year...

this year i wish my family stay healthy as always~
this year i wish my friends will stay beside me all the time...
this year i hope life will be different...

cause im intend to change it~
with this pair of hands i have...
blogging from office have not much of mood~LOL
shall blog later regarding my new year resolution~

さいご

2010-12-06T23:43:00.001+08:00

i get my favorite job, but i lost the things that stay with me for 2years already,
since we cannot cope, thank break up is the best way...
through put these years, people see how much i love him and help him...
how i sacrifice for him in terms physically and mentally...
but in return he have someone else even until today i ask him for truth,
HE STILL WANT TO LIE ABOUT IT!

how ironic~why my mom have to be accurate with what she sees, is it because she is now this age already thats what she gain...able to judge a person with 1 look....
my believes towards being kind and loving is kinda faded away...or im just too weak
to believe in what i should believe?

im so sad...im very sad and upset...
but there is nothing i can do...

stop complaining

2010-11-25T19:19:00.002+08:00

people complain because they do not satisfy with things...
people complain because they want attention...
people complain because they just LOVE to complain...

i complain~
you complain~
he complain~
she complain~
they complain~
we complain~
technically everybody complain maybe not monk or nun~

i also want to complain~i never complain to those people that does not concern
on top of that i wont EVEN BOTHER that if you are dead or alive~if you are nobody to me
i am more diva than you~you knew me the 1st day im already like this~
but i treat you good and good~makes nobody can compare~
the 1st day you come back to KL pursuing your dream and desire to be love...
im here already for you...
YOU MOVE IN MOVE OUT! I'M THE ONE WHO HELPED YOU TO DO SO!
anyone else other than me? tell me who helped you other than me!!

today! you complained to my hubby saying that
YOU DISAPPOINTED AT ME CAUSE THAT DAY YOU NEED MY HELP AND I DIDN'T HELP YOU!
i hate letting people down thats why i always do the best! family friend lover!
SO FAR! NOBODY SAY THAT HE OR SHE DISAPPOINTED AT ME!
BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU NEED MY HELP IF I CAN HELP! NO MATTER HOW UNWILLINGLY I WILL DO IT! if you know me you know who i am and what i will do!

I WILL NEVER REJECT YOUR REQUEST UNLESS I REALLY CANNOT DO IT!
i'm attending a party that night where you miserable shits hack in to your life...you called and i answered to YOUR CALL!
you say you need help, you want top quit your job because you got a complain!
THAT TIME MY AUNT ASK ME TO HELP HER TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS AS A GAME MASTER...LET THE KIDS PLAY!!!
SHE ASKED ME WEEKS AGO!
and i'm attending a training all the way from sri petaling TO SG.BULOH WHOLE WEEK!! and im tired still im pushing myself to complete the task! i dont want buit i just do it!
after that, i reloaded and call you! your line is on hold!
again i call you you are on the line and im on hold!
FUCK!
I SEND YOU A MSG! saying the situation!
AND YOU DONT BOTHER REPLY!

WEDNESDAY I GOT TRAINING again! after training i hush to call you! but you did not answer my call!
THEN I CALL DOUGLAS TO FIND OUT IF HE KNOWS ANYTHING! he dont know
end up i asked philip to go and look for you!
and you say YOU DISAPPOINTED AT ME!!!
FUCK YOU!! YOU CANNOT SUSTAIN! GO BACK!!

WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU!!
I ASKED YOUR FAVOR YOU CALCULATE WITH ME!!
FUCK!? MUCH!
DONT THINK YOU ARE DIVA!! WHEN THERE IS SOMEONE WAY MORE DIVA THAN YOU!
DID I COMPLAIN!! FUCK NO!!!

your life got problem tell me when im free!!
i dont cater to you 24 7!!
damn it!
you think my job easy ah!
these few days i study the deatil of my job circle!

ITS WAY MORE TOUGHER THAN YOU SELLING YOUR CLOTHES!!
CLOTHES VS A KITCHEN OR A HOUSE!!
YOU GET SUE IF YOUR PRODUCT DEFECT? I DO!!
SO~im not scared at all and now im running in the line just like you him and him!!
damn it!!

i wont talk to you until you apologize to me!!
and i will scream at you until you felt humiliated and shame until you rather you just DIE!

do you BELIEVE

2010-11-16T23:48:00.002+08:00

do you believe that i actually worked for half month already?
do you believe that here comes 2011?
do you believe that here comes my 23 years old?
do you believe that the baby girl that i used to cuddle in my arm will soon turn 10 YEARS OLD?!
do you believe my mom and dad wanted to retired so much?
do you believe that my bank left only rm18 after my last withdrawn?
do you believe that since 2001 until now i still deeply in love with AYUMI HAMASAKI?
do you believe that recently i gain weight so much when everyone see me they say!
WOW! WHAT A "FLESH"!? ( damn it)

do you believe that i'm doing quotation while i hate calculation?
do you believe that my relationship had reach 2 years and 4 months already?
do you believe that I AM ACTUALLY ASKING YOU TO BELIEVE ME~when i know you will OBVIOUSLY BELIEVE?

SERIOUSLY~
time flies, how many time have i used this word in my life?
i have no freaking idea...
since TINGFUNG BELATED BIRTHDAY DINNER~
i have been thinking about life~
recently~
i really feel like getting marry~
at age of not even 23 i'm already desperately want to lock myself up~
LOL of de LOL
and also keep looking back~
when i look back so often~i know that is because i'm still not yet stepping out from my comfort zone...
i'm still stuck at the past with all my memories...
all recently i keep listening to all my old song like my 2005 ayumi's album~MY STORY~
Walking Proud still remain its charm and magic towards me...
it trigger so so so much memories of mine since my form 1 kicking in till now...

when in primary~we are all so naive that barely knows the reason for anything,
thing just come and go...

when in secondary~we start having senses kicking in~and know things happen for a reason~

when in college~we start preparing and enjoy the last drip of the sweet juices we had for the past 22 years. and now the old wings of ours replaced by a new pair of wing...

NOW, working drifted us apart, me away further from those memories...on this boat~
i'm still wonder what and when i'm reaching the island leh~

WONDER

guys over here i would love to say THANK YOU to the one who participated in the video clip for our dearest YAO TING FUNG for his BIRTHDAY...THANK YOU so MUCH~

now~i really need to sleep after long day of work~

XOXO

new Environment

2010-11-02T14:34:00.002+08:00

that day the 1st day i start to blog~is at college's laptop~
tell me about it~
today I'm kicking start at the IOI mall outlet~
at Signature Kitchen a branch out from ID Industries~
i'm so free until i can blog, msn, twit~even youtube over here!
aiks~i want to do learn something, i want to do something~
is it me, the people not so welcoming over here~
but my friend says that i'm thinking too much~
when you are new~you are new~so people havent get familiar with you~and wont be so open to you~

well this is the reality part when comes to work~
yeap i hate work due to the fun that i can have is no longer there~
freedom is no more~but responsibility is here now~and i'm headache~uh~

better go find something to do~

~`RaY's SeCret ChamBeR`~

**how beautiful you are**

**twenty12**

**tonight , We are young...**

**end-bell**

**SPIN-ning**

**a place i will go 1st**

**SingSingSing~

**stretch n blog**

**11 eleVEN 11**

**always a light**

**helpless**

**phoTo shoot**

**La Life**

**rabbit OR duck**

**lost but not found**

**changes**

**you ain't the right...**

**my HEART will go on**

**NObody wants 2B LONEly**

**my heart feels like yogurt**

**koreanWAVEfestival 2011**

**PAPI**

**in DA house**

** how heart warming if i can hear you say...**

**who is the other side of my heartbeat**

**rule that allow me to cry**

**in or out of the zone**

**flipping**

**walking into September**

**the 4teen IsI RImBa**

**i'm NOT POOR**

**let it go**

**five after five**

**it's not easy to catch...**

**knows me well**

**YOU(ALL)CHEERmyLIFE**

**clean**

**they'll see**

**for you**

**5 deals breaker**

**night ballad**

**beneath this stary sky**

**shadow**

**teddy-BEAR**

**autobiography**

**23rd**

**somewhere only we know**

**haters**

**why leh?**

**dying no more**

**not knowing...**

**i'm getting IT**

**guys in heels**

**kiss**

**mens...**

**when your good is not good enough**

**chasing shadows**

**diVa**

**deal or no deal**

**compare**

**my favorite day**

**welcome back my computer**

** the 400**

**shop for L.O.V.E**

**the medley of Chinese New Year**

**just 1 WORD**

**but yet**

**as time goes by**

**Chinese New Year...CNY2011**

**at the age of crossroad**

**nick-name**

**rayray countdown LIFE from 2010 to 2011 @ dream ON **

**さいご**

**stop complaining**

**do you BELIEVE**

**new Environment**

how beautiful you are

twenty12

tonight , We are young...

end-bell

SPIN-ning

a place i will go 1st

stretch n blog

11 eleVEN 11

always a light

helpless

phoTo shoot

La Life

rabbit OR duck

lost but not found

changes

you ain't the right...

my HEART will go on

NObody wants 2B LONEly

my heart feels like yogurt

koreanWAVEfestival 2011

PAPI

in DA house

how heart warming if i can hear you say...

who is the other side of my heartbeat

rule that allow me to cry

in or out of the zone

flipping

walking into September

the 4teen IsI RImBa

i'm NOT POOR

let it go

five after five

it's not easy to catch...

knows me well

YOU(ALL)CHEERmyLIFE

clean

they'll see

for you

5 deals breaker

night ballad

beneath this stary sky

shadow

teddy-BEAR

autobiography

23rd

somewhere only we know

haters

why leh?

dying no more

not knowing...

i'm getting IT

guys in heels

kiss

mens...

when your good is not good enough

chasing shadows

diVa

deal or no deal

compare

my favorite day

welcome back my computer

the 400

shop for L.O.V.E

the medley of Chinese New Year

just 1 WORD

but yet

as time goes by

Chinese New Year...CNY2011

at the age of crossroad

nick-name

rayray countdown LIFE from 2010 to 2011 @ dream ON

さいご

stop complaining

do you BELIEVE

new Environment